Steve Jobs Now Ex-Ninja: “I’ll Never Come to Japan Again!”


Apple fuhrer Steve Jobs is reportedly enraged at having his ninja aspirations denied by Japanese customs, after they stymied his efforts to take shuriken out of the country on his private jet.

As retaliation he threatened he would “never come to a country like this again!”

According to reports in rag Spa!, Steve Jobs and his family paid a secret visit to Japan in July, arriving in Jobs’ private jet at Kansai Internaional Airport for a typical tourist itinerary, paying a visit to Kyoto.

On arriving at the airport for his return journey, he was apparently outraged at having to declare his newly acquired shuriken to customs, protesting “Who would be so stupid as to commit terrorism on their own jet?!” and “I’ll never come to a country like this again!”

Presumably he is unaware of the humiliating rigours of travelling peasant-class on a normal airliner – restrictions in no small part the result of American aviation policy.

Meanwhile there appear to be those who would be quite happy if he were to carry out his threat:

“Don’t come again!”

“Quit pretending you’re a state guest – if you don’t come again, that’s fine!”

“Idiots who can’t even respect the laws of other countries had better not come here again!”

“Bringing his own shuriken to the airport and then getting enraged about it. This Apple cult leader is a pretty cool guy.”

“The reason they’re so strict is because of the terrorism in your own damn country!”

“That baldie’s as intolerant as ever I see.”

“Those Yanks think they can do whatever they like, don’t they?”

“This is Japan, if you want you can go and wave guns around in your own country!”

“Shuriken – haha. Honestly those foreigners really love that samurai/ninja stuff…”

“It’s Spa, they are probably blowing this way out of proportion.”

“Why’d he even have to buy something like that in Japan?”

“Just which country’s fault is it security became so tight?”

“Does baldie think just because he has his own jet he can fill it with drugs and weapons and go wherever he likes?”

“Letting someone like this have shuriken – no wonder they were concerned about terrorism…”

“Make no mistake, he’ll be back.”

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