Microsoft Fakes Kinect Gameplay at E3 Launch
- Categories: Games, News
- Date: Jun 15, 2010 04:41 JST
- Tags: Bizarre, Controllers, Events, Marketing, Microsoft, Video Gallery, Xbox 360
Witnesses to Microsoft’s glitzy E3 launch of Kinect (formerly Natal) report that Microsoft’s conspicuously refused to show any actual gameplay, instead using a crude mockup with actors pretending to “play” an onscreen movie, and that a mechanical elephant was the real star of the show, not their “revolutionary” new controller.
One report phrases it thus:
To say I was disappointed with Kinect would be putting it mildly.
After waiting at the Galen Center for a couple of hours, other than the name, Kinect, nothing was revealed except a handful of pre-recorded demos where actors clearly pretended to control the on-screen characters (avatars) with their own body movement.
At several points the avatars would move before the actors did, ruining the illusion of a real live demo of Kinect. This body-synch debacle makes Milli Vanilli’s legendary lip-synch outrage look tame by comparison.
[…]
Laughably, a huge animatronic elephant with in-built projector screens was the highlight of the crazy spectacle.
[…]
Look, it has to be said: that was one of the single biggest cluster****s I’ve ever seen at a games event, hands down.
With the eyes of the world on Microsoft, it decides that the best course of action, for whatever profound reason, is not to truly unveil much of anything.
Instead, the audience is assaulted with a strange and shambolic mess of pretentious garbage, muddy messaging and glimpses of very uninspiring games. Good lord.
A video of the event:
Just why Microsoft would not be desperate to show off the actual product it is launching is a very interesting question.
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Eager Index Bunny Girl Figure
Shingeki no Kyojin PV More Colossal Than Ever
Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 “Owner’s Mode” = “SJW Bait”
Musaigen no Phantom World Relentlessly Cute
Dragon Quest Stage Event Highly Promising
Project X Zone 2 Trailer Hits Hard
Kagura Ero-Figure Extremely Tentacular
Monmusu BD “Bigger With Every Release!”
MLP Futanari: “Bronies Weirder Than Ever…”
Blade & Soul Launch Unexpectedly Voluptuous
Nisemonogatari Pachinko Machine Unveiled
Lax Lady Venera Figure
Saijaku Muhai no Bahamut Ceaselessly Naughty
“Abusive” Breast-Groping Fundraiser Molested by Petition
Hanayo Koizumi’s Birthday Highly Revered
Toyota Prius CM Goes Full KanColle Mode
Usamimi Anette-san Micro-Bikini Figure
A Full Course Dream 3some “An Otaku Wet-Dream”
Dimension W “Both Cute & Grotesque!”
Adorable Ati Cosplay by Kaieda Kai Kemonomimi Chaos
Momo Velia Deviluke Cosplay Bursting With Bridal Beauty
Skimpy Sonico Cosplay Barely Contained
Kumiko & Reina Cosplay Hardly Blows At All
Skimpy Elf Bikini Cosplay by Saku Supremely Sexy
Gothic Lolita Hatsune Miku Cosplay Busts Out
Delectable Dizzy Cosplay by Lechat
Dark Elf Cosplay by Non Very Dark Indeed
Titillating Tamako Cosplay Perfectly Pink
Goddess of 2ch: “Full of Lust & Urges (& Also Videos)!”
And once again Microsuck fails.
Oh well, onto something more interesting
It seems a lot of you didn't watch the actual conference. This seems like it was from sundays pre-event thingy they had with Natal and while it looked poopy then, I think when they actually showed it off at the conference, it was pretty good. For what it is of course.
I could clearly tell it was an act. I'm glad others noticed.
only MGS Rising im looking forward too and it's not even exclusive to them. thank god no versus XIII to them come on tetsuya show us some gameplay im not even sure which one will come first? kingdom hearts III or Final Fantasy Versus XIII. can't wait for sony's conference though The Last Guardian FTW :D
only MGS Rising is the one the interest me and it's not even exclusive to them for shame. not to mention no versus XIII for them(don't get your hopes up :D) hopefully tetsuya will hurry up and released a gameplay of it. idk know which one will be released first? Kingdom Hearts III or Versus XIII. can't wait for sony's conference though the last guardian FTW :D
What the fuck did I just see?
I guess that in this situation, there is only two words that may be enough to characterize in the best way Kinect/Natal (or whatever Microsoft is calling it.
It's FAKE and GAY!!
It seems if Xbox 360 is faking or demonstrating a possible game I would buy it just to play that Star Wars Game.
Their target audience has been found.
"Kinect looks awesome"
"Wii is dead"
"PS Move has nothing on this"
I ask fanboys to repeat that after watching this E3 footage at least twice.
It must suck very hard if they didn't manage to show some decent real-time gameplay and instead resorted to showing pre-rendered scenes. It's like they didn't even try to hide it.
And what about Milo? Wasn't it supposed to be Molyneaux new programming masterpiece that would make use of Kinect's each and every feature? Haven't heard of that one for a while. Seems it was all lies after all. Just like Fable 1 and 2.
I am not at all surprised.
Wait, you're complaining about the PRE-E3 event? This isn't the launch fool, this is the party the night before.
woah! I NEED That Elephant!!
Because she's asian and a loli? lol
http://i49.tinypic.com/2vl7gq9.gif
This is not good for Microsoft's image at all. People are going to think that Microsoft assumes that all of it's customers are so easily fooled that they would fall for something like this. Anyone else see a downfall?
Hilarious
wow, this is kind of sad really...& of course hilarious...
It's really hard to satisfy all people.
They complain when there's lag, now Kinect can even move before you're making your move, people still complain.
What I'm affraid is that MS didn't tell the whole truth about Kinect. It isn't really a motion controller but it's actually controlling your movement.... I believe MS originally named it Geass Eye, but change it in the last second to Kinect to make it less obvious about its real capability.
epic fail presentation..
How bizarre. Do they really think a pompous floorshow is going to keep people from realizing they had nothing to show? Those actors didn't even do a good job of matching the characters in the movie.
YOU RRoD 360 BETA TESTERS FAGS SURE GOT TOLD.
Western devs are the downfall of gaming. This is why I wish sony and ninten were the only ones. White mans greed and manipulating never end.
Only good thing was metal gear NATAL or whatever its called now sux ballz
You can never go wrong with Metal Gear...Unless you let Microsoft handle it...
I'm looking forward to Metal Gear Rising...
For shame, Microsoft...For shame...
Pretending and hiring actors for your sh*tty presentation of your product...
If Master Chief was real, he'd vomit in his helmet and blow that elephant up...
The big dude in the top picture looks like leisure suit Larry...
This happened yesterday not a couple of hours ago if you watched the E3 Media live stream you would see that it was shown live and working fully just STFU with the negative of Kinect and Xbox 360 start being negative once you have it not before.
Oh wait there won't be any negative comments because it has shown to live to its hype live!!
Open your fucking eyes, moron:
http://i48.tinypic.com/wh0ah1.gif
Won't that be interesting? During that cutscene you can make your character do the chicken dance or taunt Vader with the Finger..
How much did they pay you?
like I said there was a live stream over 2 hours ago. That crap yesterday was a preview/sales pitch not something that shows the true kinect. that was left for today.
It all looked very scripted, and yes, is wii sports an wii fit all the way again....
The ferrari tour part looked neat.
What the hell did I just watch? O_O With the music that video was some pretty good nightmare fuel. But lol people thought that play the wii made them look silly, the natal- I mean Kinect brings that to a new level. Can't wait to hear the stories about people kicking in their tvs, getting multiple injuries, ect. Oh it will be lulz!
Yeah, I was kinda wondering who they paid to ape Akira Yamaoka for that backing track, myself.
Microsoft fails at everything else it does, so why should we be surprised here?
"Instead, the audience is assaulted with a strange and shambolic mess of pretentious garbage, muddy messaging"
Just like one of those supposedly "symbolic" anime.
I liked the Elephant
And I'm sure it liked you.
My god, what were they thinking.
drugs
I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me
The demos were painfully awkward to watch, I dont think anyone in the audience cares about casual type nonsense.
I did enjoy that little Asian girl playing with the tiger though ...
I hope cute asian lolis will be sold in bundle pack with slim X360 :) Then I will consider M$ a winner.
i made the joke of how thats another 60 bucks wasted and my friend asked if i was talking about the girl or the game?
tee hee
Where was this loli? Didn't see one in the video.
Ever since I watched the presentation I'm still laughing at how half-assed it all was. I can't help but wonder wtf were they thinking?
Dear God it looks painful! >.<
It's as if they are afraid of showing of what they have becouse it sucks so bad...
How much worse than this presentation can the real thing be?!
Their actual press conference was weak. Their kinect games didn't come remotely close to hardcore, and the casual things like fitness were nothing unexpected.
Any hardcore titles designed just for Kinect must be early in development.
"Any hardcore titles designed just for Kinect must be early in development."
At least.
I think the Microsoft executives all were smoking crack. They couldn't produce something this boneheaded if they soberly _tried_ to.
Nothing was good though the new metal gear look kind of cool.Gears of war looked the same.Halo looked the same.Kinect is just stupid.
And it seems they went to far with the demo that players need to do some senseless moves even during cutscenes..
ha ha ha, silly microsoft. at it's antics again.
Looks like the actor is just matching the action in the cutscene imo.
Totla mega phail!
I never liked motion sensing gaming anyways.Sony had it perfect though,just move the controller a little.Now they're gonna do the same thing.
Perfect, really?
Sixaxis motion sensor was so insignificant that I don't even know why they even bothered to do it.
I forgot my controller even supported that.
Seeing this spectacle makes you even wonder if their technology works in the first place.
they do that cuz their Microsoft
the only thing i use six axis for is to reload in GTA:4. it just makes sense to pop the controller up. other than that, absolutely nothing.
microsoft sure do like to boast.
Definitely. Sixaxis was enough.
are they really trying to show the death of gaming? We didn't even call for that.
Halo Reach: Better Visuals, same gameplay
Gears: Same, but with more boobs
Kinect: I wouldn't pay $60 for any of those games
COD Black Ops: COD4 Vietnam(cold war too?)
MGS5 Rising: I'll CUT in line to buy it day 1. Those visuals and human entrails being sliced up won me over.
Here is the good thing :)
The 360 is completely piratable :) so you don't have to pay for the crap
I'm not surprised that M$ announcements would turn out to be a total joke. I also don't like the name change for Natal, Kinect just doesn't sound right. It also sucks that the couldn't even show off the real Natal. thou I do want to see what games they announced, especially Gears 3.
Well it makes a bit more sense than Natal. It clearly takes from kinetic, relating to motion, as apposed to Natal meaning Christmas in Portuguese.
OMG! u r SO crativ! M$! not ms... M$! OMGWTFBBQ!
No, really. I want the address to the timewarp you used to get here from 2002.
I guess you're right InB4Haruhi, I guess I just got used to hearing Natal and it does roll of tongue a little better for me. But I have no intentions of buying it so it doesn't really matter.
I was actually hopeful that M$ would do something interesting with Natal/Kinect. I now feel foolish for hoping for such from ones such as them....
That'll learn ya.