Final Fantasy Party Vows Youthful Dynasty

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Japan’s newly formed “Tachiagare Nippon” party, formed from elderly LDP mavericks, has earned additional derision by proclaiming it is Japan’s “final fantasy” and will save Japan in a manner reminiscent of the games, although with the average age of the party a spritely 69.6, they do not compare altogether favourably to the average Final Fantasy party.

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The party, whose name means “Stand up Japan!”, was recently formed by half a dozen conservative LDP associated politicians, the most famous of which is Tokyo’s maverick governor Ishihara.

The party’s founder Takeo Hiranuma is best known overseas for saying the Nanking massacre was purely Chinese propaganda, giving some indication as to his political leanings.

Curiously, in English the party is calling itself the “Sunrise Part of Japan,” presumably without irony, and evidently not having the guts to use a radiant sun disc as their emblem.

Their policies (not that they have gone into any great detail) are as fresh as their members – they promise to pursue “an independent constitution” (probable shorthand for removing limits on military activity), “economic growth and financial reform” and the usual LDP preoccupation with promoting or impairing postal system privatisation (their members come from both sides and it is not clear just what they support).

They also promise to smash the DPJ, although so far it seems the DPJ is quite capable of accomplishing this by themselves, their approval ratings having plummeted to LDP-like levels.

Aside from a successfully engineered media splash, their arrival has been greeted with much scepticism – with a handful of intensely conservative geriatrics as their core membership, few believe they are capable of breaking the political malaise rotting Japan’s body politic to the bone.

Their bombastic choice of name has already become the subject of much raillery – “Tachiagare Nippon” is terribly close to “Tachiyagare Nippon” (“Get the hell on with it Japan!”) and the even better “Tachigare Nippon” (“Withered Japan”).

The Final Fantasy image reproduced above even manages to replace the “jii” of the Japanese pronunciation with “jii” meaning “old man”…

Hearing these relics spout nonsense about being the youthful “final fantasy” of Japan seems only to have added to the ridicule.


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