Lifesaving Excuses for Explaining Away Your Porn Stash

How about I'm reading kamasutra(or other pon stuff) to study the position on how to make pleasure on my...I mean our love making.

Yeah and what happens if there are loli stuff in my stash any ideas?

My stash is electronic and I have been thinking of deleting it since its rather useless as I don't use it.

IMO, if the woman can't satisfy the man enough so that if he has any porn it's got an inch of dust (or multi-year old computer files) and he's forgotten about it, she ain't doing her job.

I've seen relationships where the men were afraid to have ANY porn. And they broke up. The woman cheats, but gets everything thanks to the AmeriKKKan court system and lives off the man's income with a parasite male.

Fruit of the "Modern women who seek to destroy men"... They want it all, but they emotionally need to bond with a man who'll protect them, but they've been told to destroy men as 'rapists/woman haters' by man-hating muff divas. Therefore, they see this need for such a bond as 'mind control' by the 'rapist' and want to hurt him, to dominate him.

Putting women in the general work force, along with all the disruption to marriage and families, did this; It effectively doubled the workforce allowing the "Controllers" to cut wages in half. Instead of a limited number of highly trained professional men and bunch of hard working blue collar ones, we now have a glut of 'educated' but helpless otherwise people, men and women, scrambling for jobs in a decaying market. If it was just men, the limited number alone would keep wages high and they'd organize better to keep good wages up and unfair competition down.

This is ridiculous.... excuses for having porn? "I wanted to fap." >.>

I don't have to worry about ir, she even brings me more porn!

10. "It exists, you don't!"
Works best when your single.

Lots of good comments, but wow, I can't believe this isn't in the article and that nobody has mentioned it yet...

Ejaculation helps fight prostate cancer!!! It's been proven by SCIENCE. Need I say more? Jealous girls, don't you want your guy to stay healthy?

Besides that, beating the meat helps a guy last longer when he is having actual sex. Why would his partner not want that? They want the 10-second "oops I'm done, thanks" guy? Eesh.

Pr0n away, guyz. >D

LOL masculine urges.

I had to explain to my boyfriend my hentai, yaoi, yuri, dickgirl, pegging, shota, AND bestiality collection.

So is having 25gb worth of pictures a feminine urge?

"Try reading it" is the best one. Mainly if you collect Playboy magazines... Because nowadays, the models have so much photoshopping that men only buy Playboys for the jokes and articles. Now, if it's a hentai magazine in Japanese, well...

Excuses?

Shit I don't offer ANY excuses.

If you are single you need an excuse even less than a married man.

Married men will already be aware that a healthy intelligent woman can't always be available. Porn is ONLY choice 2 if you have brains at all (and if she has any common sense as well).

You just make it plain to her 'were you planning to be at my beck and call every single time I need to get off?' If she answers yes, well hell you don't NEED porn.
But unless she's willing to suck it out when she's having her cycle, and willing to spread em any time of day or night you're interested, then maybe she might want to lay off complaining about the porn.

And if she's really bright, she'll look AT the porn to get proper intel on precisely what makes you tick, and then emulate that herself. If she plans to 'own' you, she might as well figure out what you can't resist eh.

Any woman too dense to grasp all of this, is likely too dumb to talk to at all in the first place.

Women don't know sports.

"Why do I have porn? Is this a trick question?"

Only little kids need to hide their porn stash, or worse make up dumb excuses (#2, 3, 6) nobody will believe in when they are found out.

If you ever get a girlfriend, just man up and come clean with it. Trust in a relationship takes a long time to build up, but takes only an instant to lose. Just ask Toyota.

I don't maintain a porn stash.

I just use the internet when the desire arises.

Here's what I do, I stream my porn from the internet. No need to save it, and nobody knows the password for my profile on the computer, chances of anyone looking over my internet history, slim to none.

I would just say it's all the stuff I downloaded before I met you and that now I feel ashamed.

This is why you get a girlfriend who's also into porn.

There are only two approaches:

1. Don't hide it. Put it in a folder called "Porn--Enter_at_Your_Own_Risk"; or

2. Put in on encrypted removable media (flash drives, hard drives, etc.)

If she catches you looking/reading/watching it, just say, "Yeah, it's porn. Knowing how self-confident you are, I didn't think you'd care."

If you've done something stupid, such as trying to hide it in an obscure folder on your hard drive, and she discovers it, you _MIGHT_ get away with, "OMFG, my box has been pwned!!"

My porn stash is in plain view, just next to my artbooks... Best way to hide it imho.

Same counts for porn on you PC, just make a folder called porn on your desktop and no one will ever open it. ^^

say it can't possibly be yours, because you're gay.

Good thing I draw mangas. It's really easy to give excuses when all of them knows that you actually worked for a local comic book company. -_-

Porn stash ? I don't have any, well I have, but Internet confiscated mine

Surely the best countertactic is to turn the tables and go on the offensive.

"Oh, so our relationship is entirely physical to you?"

Great title pic... Gusu really excels in portraying these kinds of situations.

"I find it artistic"

1.Say pointless excuse.
2.Listen to her rant.
3.Tell her you were testing her.
4.Act VERY dissapointed.

Apparently the best way to hide it a stash is stash it in plain sight.
No one would suspect you'd keep the stash there otherwise if your collection is digital just stash the hard drive somewhere in your pile of stuff.

good thing my gf buys me porn mags. Thank you dear :)

What ever happened to the good old-fashioned "I read the articles" excuse?

Girl: Hey! What the hell is this?
Boy: What? I just read the articles.
Girl: Yeah right mister.
Boy: No really. There's a great interview in here with Bonnie Pink. :flip to it: See?
Girl: Oh...

Haha... Choice 8 kinda funny! XD

My excuse:
"Don't you have one, too?"
She shut up immediately.

For me I'll just randomize my way out. Once she takes out the stash, I'll act surprised
"Oh god, you even brought your own porn stash here! I'm disappointed in you! I cant believe I have a girlfriend who watches porn!"
then proceed to threaten break-up and all that crap till she has no room for reasoning and forgets whatever that happened lol

Ha this remind of the time when I was trying to show my mom something in my laptop, but had completely forgotten that I had T2 "sora no iro mizu no iro" as my wallpaper. As I was looking for excuse than she said " what a beautiful girl" I was like "huh"

I dont hide my stash, I leave them on the bookshelf and my gf doesnt give a shit about whats on the bookshelf, instead looking under my bed and getting a whole lot of manga

Whats wrong with having a porn stash? I'm a girl and I have my own porn stash. In fact I watched some of it with my bf, I think it shocked him more to know that I keep my own stash...

10. Roll-up one of the magazines and start whacking her on the head, yelling "bad dog! baaad dog!"

Try reading it. ROFL

I was excited, at long last, to finally have a lifesaving excuse for explaining away my porn 'stache. But the actual article cruelly dashed my hopes.

Although I guess I could still use 3, 7, and 9, to some extent.

I'd be more disturbed if said man in question didn't have a porn stash, digital or physical media. I'd consider pornography as a part of the rite of passage to become a man. I mean one eventually becomes curious about it all and hey guess what can satiate that curiosity?

I don't mind if my boyfriends keep porn. It's very insightful to see what they collect, what they watch, what gets them turned on the most.

1, 4, 5, 7, 8, and 9 would never work for a lolicon's porn stash.

"female authority figure"
I found the problem here, unless it's your mother.

If you'll hide your porn rather then dump your shitty controlling gf, then maybe you should remember where you also hid your BALLS.

I've always used the "studying female anatomy" excuse.

My 2d gf has no problem with stash.

I'm a girl.

There are still women who think having porn is bad WTF?

3. “What, just where did that come from!?”
“Play dumb. Just pretend you don’t look at them any more and it was left over from somewhere.”

Now c'mon..when has this ever worked?

my GF has a wonderfull Rule about my porn...
"at least mastrubate to woman prettier than me or i will kill u"

i didnt expect that answer but porn stash shrunk to 1/3 of its orginal size.
well at least she allows me to...

Side note
Once in irc
"im searching for a man who doesnt mastrubate"
my first answer "have fun with ur 12y old BF"

I don't understand why men having porn stashes is seen as a problem by some women. I don't care what porn my boyfriend has, it ensures he can occupy himself when I'm not around.

10. "Want me to explain my porn? How about you explain that sketchbook of yours which has two characters who look distinctly like me and your brother behaving intimately?"

My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum upon finding my in-plain-view Playboy magazines. She said "Either these go or I go!"

I said "You think you can compete with those?"

That shut her up.

I would use a combination of 1 & 4. I'm not ashamed that I look at porn and if I had a girlfriend that wasn't interested in porn then I would try to get her to like it by finding some that she would enjoy as well.

Number 3 could never work for me since all my porn is on my computer. I can't just say "Gee, I wonder who downloaded those hundreds of gigabytes of porn onto my computer?".

9 <- Good for getting some action from your girl if she was reluctant about it.

So what do I do when my girlfriend constantly wants to know what porn I'm looking at?

Brilliant!!

Though when my mom found my stash I merely replied: "I'll just have to do a better job hiding it then." Thus a career in Information Securities was born

"Hey, *I'm* not the one who gained forty pounds after we started dating."

Just use "tits or gtfo..and you were tfo at the time T_T"

In fact it is not even required to excuse ones porn.

GF: OMG, that's a porn stash! Why do you have this?!
Guy: Because I bought it. So what?
GF: Nvm, just wanted to make sure you didn't use my yaoi porn too.