A woman reporting how she was all but driven to tears upon learning that her lovely young boyfriend was actually an otaku asks whether otaku-dating women are indeed the same lower form life as their paramours.
The woman, describing herself as extremely shy and about 30, relates that she recently began dating a man for the first time:
“He’s 4 years younger than me, he’s boy-faced and really cute, takes care of his hair and clothes – he’s stylish.
He would talk about music, movies, the latest trends, and knew all about them; he was captivating so it was a natural choice to date him. With a younger boyfriend who’s really cute, every day was full of happiness for me.
After 3 months, his true self emerged. He’s an otaku.
Like the sort you’d see at Akihabara. He doesn’t look it, but he’s into anime and cosplay. I think he even goes to their events.
And on his desktop wallpaper he has gross anime pictures – pink and purple haired miko.
When I saw this, I was so shocked, I thought I’d cry!
He’s stylish and was introduced to me by a friend, but after finding out his true nature I’m really afraid people might think I’m the same. I wish he’d told me at the start he was an otaku.
I don’t have much experience of romance, I feel anxious about these things. And I have been wondering about marriage lately too.
My boyfriend is kind, I love him. But if my friends found out about him I get the impression I’d lose worth in their eyes.
Are women dating otaku worth less?”
Naturally this sort of enquiry generated a storm of controversy in response:
“Otaku or whatever, there’s no way anyone loses worth just by dating someone with a particular hobby. In fact, I think a woman who judges a man like that is a person of low worth in the first place.”
“Worth? What is this worth you keep going on about? Is a woman dating a doctor worth a lot more, perhaps? A pilot? A celebrity? I’ve never heard of anyone being worth more because of dating someone like this. So how could anyone be worth less?”
“You’re talking about your worth with a stylish boyfriend 4 years your junior? You’re shy and in your thirties. The one who should be picky is your boyfriend.”
“There’s no such thing as a perfect man. How long are you going to be a little girl dreaming of one? That’s why you never had a boyfriend up until now. If you break up with him you’d be doing him a favour – you’re a very cheap woman.”
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I think that boyfriend of hers is not an otaku. Why? Because I am like him, at the very least. I am into fashion, I take care of myself, I go out on the weekend, I have a lot of friends, but I am also into anime, manga, and games. If she want to insist of him being an otaku, then we are definitely the type A, not the excessively obsessive type into anime and manga. It's a hobby for us, but we see our real life and real people as reality. What's wrong with him having a hobby like that. The way she described her definitely showing that he definitely is not the creepy type otaku. From my deduction, I think she is the weird or the creepy one.
That's probably true in America but in a country like Japan things are different. As you might know, the Japanese does not want to attract attention to themselves, they just want to blend in with society. The term otaku in japan is more than just an anime fan. Its related to perverts, shut-ins, and other serious negative connotations. She most likely fears that dating an otaku might attract attention. Well this is what I think she is thinking.
Personally, I think the boyfriend is more than worthy to date her but everyone is entitled to their own opinions.
And I think the guy is more of type C. From the description of the wallpaper, it's probably the same as the OP. And you know what demographic Lucky Star has...
Don't stereotype this by being exclusively women.
I'm 21, just began dating a cute, funny guy, but as soon as he went into my room and saw my yaoi collection and my anime action figures, he suddenly had no interest in me. >:
Humans are shallow and vain that way.
That's cause he was probably a typical jackass so many women go for. I'd make fun of you about the yaoi stuff (not seriously, just teasing really), but I wouldn't ditch you for it (nor would most guys I know ), unless you look like a bridge troll (in which case, the yaoi collection and stuff was just an easy exit strat).
It appears as if a Japanese man has interest in anything but making money, he loses worth.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$... Enjoy it ladies.
here's the deal, if you are happy in a relationship, no matter who or what you're dating, it doesn't matter what other people think.
fuck'em...
most times they are just jealous 'cause you've found happiness...
i agree with this,since the relationship is only between him and her.And if they listen to anyone else,or especialy if she listenes to anyone else it can corrupt her mind.
Relationship should be usually dealth with the person you are and not others.
Dam, This just makes me pop the question "are relationships even worth it days?" I'm not trying to get flamed here but seeing how were getting views of the dating scene in Japan makes me consider how worldwide things are going.
But In all honesty I say this to the lady
"Prove em Wrong! Show em you caught yerself a keeper!"
"He’s stylish and was introduced to me by a friend, but after finding out his true nature I’m really afraid people might think I’m the same. I wish he’d told me at the start he was an otaku."
WTF?! I don't want to hear that jibba jabba from a gawdam christmas cake!
And what does it matter what her other friends think? It's not like he's putting his otaku penis inside them, afterall.
treated like a child princess sindrome and stayed one.Ah so many women don't grow up
I'm sympathetic to this issue...
It's something the Sci-Fi/Fantasy fans (especially RPG heads) had to deal with until the 90s. Hiding the collection of "Conan" novels and comics from the girlfriend or wife, and woe to any who let one of the "Great One's" books slip... Really, some people turned storage sheds into "Post-Bachelor Dens" to hide the "Shit" the wife made 'em throw out.
That is, and THIS is, of course, the fruit of the "Modern women who seek to destroy men." The combination of easy divorce laws and 'empowering' women combined with retention and expansion of old laws out to "Protect women" gave them far too much power. In addition it filled them with a bunch of unreasoning expectations, the "Tetris" style of emotional needs where she needs something till its filled, then needs something else.
It'd be impossible to please this woman, unless she married a "Rock Star" or "Rich Man", someone far above her. Then, of course, she'd feel bored and start cheating or otherwise doing destructive things.
IMO, they should go back to "Arranged Marriages" and AmeriKKKa should scale back some of it's divorce laws. I'm for binding a man to his wife and kids, but she should have to think 10 times before she even tries to leave him, not just decides it's time to leech off his labors and live out of wedlock with a non-producing "Outlaw" type.
Rather, don't marry at all! History has shown that a man and a woman can't get along with each other without throwing out the other's interest because of some stigma.
Indeed. IMO, most of the reason so many women jump ship is that they're "rewarded" with half a man's money (and if he makes enough, alimony as well). If they scaled back the allowances, and winnings that divorced spouses were granted, I guarantee there would be far less divorce (and in the case of jointly owned properties, whoever pays for the house, gets the -whole- house, kids or not).
Oh no, he watches anime - and sometimes goes shopping for anime. *GASP* He attends some anime related events...and the truly horrible thing, he has anime related wallpaper on his comp.
Sounds like this boyfriend needs to dump this gold digger.
Responses 3 & 4 sum up what I want to say :D!
"she recently began dating a man for the first time"
First time in her life in her 30? Oh my! =)
Woa, I didn't catch that detail. If that is true then she should be all the more grateful she has such a guy whom she feels happy with. Screw the fact that he's an otaku! She can't be so picky, especially when his character seems perfect for her.
lol , that's just his hobby...what's wrong wiv dat women lol??
There is a difference between:
My hobby is anime and cosplay
and
I can't sleep without my [....] dakimakura.
This looks like the former.As such,there is nothing wrong here.Totally normal.
I think just the fact that he's an otaku AND stylish is a joint deal. Shouldn't date for looks or anything, but some otaku look kind of unkempt. Still, can't pass judgment before you know~
This article has left me in despair :\
Don't worry about the women, the great majority of you (including me) will never have a loving relationship with a girl.
He could be doing Heroin, would she prefer that?
Otaku Racist Bastard..
facepalm to that woman because she think that she is normaal or think she self is perfect ???
Think about it he will only cheat you on 2D girls.
Who doesn't hated to go shopping with woman ??
example /to a cloth boutique she is trying the same blouse over 2 houres and you know from the start she would't buy it ....
After homophobia, and all other phobias, now we have, otakuphobia XS
She’s 4 years younger than me, she’s really cute, takes care of his hair and clothes – she’s stylish.
she would talk about music, movies, the latest trends, and knew all about them; he was captivating so it was a natural choice to date him. With a younger girlfriend who’s really cute, every day was full of happiness for me.
After 3 months, her true self emerged. she like twilight.
He doesn’t look it, but he’s into the books and movies. I think he even likes edward.
And on his desktop wallpaper he has gross twilight pictures – dark and emo teenagers.
When I saw this, I was so shocked, I thought I’d cry!
Bitch, he should just do her and leave. Like, "I'm otaku baby, but i'm baaaad"
Hermes-tan accepted Densha for who he was in the end. She should follow her example.
what women should be happy about otakus' they won't get to much semen instead otakus fap at figures
Sigh. Most of you miss the POV she is coming from. Remember, in Japan appearance is everything. This is the country where people have committed suicide because they "lost face" (were embarrassed by a failure of some major project they were in charge of, even if they themselves could not have prevented the failure in the first place.) This is a country where people decide what they like and dislike based on what their FRIENDS like and dislike. And to like something your friends do not is reason enough for your friends to drop you. Even the appearance of liking something, even if you do not really like it, is enough to drive off your friends. For example, someone starting a _rumour_ that a particular girl in an office is a whore is enough to get her fired from her job!
From her POV, she is literally looking at losing all her friends, and the respect they have for her as a person, because her boyfriend is an otaku! That is the mental equation she is trying to balance. Unless, of course, his "otaku-ness" doesn't rub off on her reputation. And that is her question. If her reputation suffers because she is dating an otaku, then she has to decide if the relationship is worth the losses, and disapproval, that she will suffer. If his otaku-ness doesn't have an effect on her reputation, then, as far as she is concerned, she's home free and gets to enjoy both the attentive boyfriend and the respect of her peers and superiors.
The otaku keeps his hobbies to himself and she does not leak it and nobody else needs to find out! If she had included her real name in that post, she more or less shot herself in the foot!
the thing is the USA has that mentality in some cases, as well as places like the Phillipines but you dont see people defending 'pakisama' fromt hose places.
It kind of goes to show that the country is severely fucked up culturally and needs to un fuck itself.
It's why I couldn't stand to live there. Too much judgmental bullshit.
I can totally sympathize, I nearly cried when I found out my ex likes mainstream music! Disgusting, right? I broke up with her because of that.
that post honestly sounds like a troll.
*sigh*
Women from Japan...
This makes me rage a little on the inside.
I smell legendary kopipe in the making!
This woman's comments made my stomach turn. Sometimes I just wanna shout to the women of the world "What the fuck is wrong with being an otaku?!" It depresses how some women think. Is it really so wrong to actually enjoy something in life?! I know these women love to stress themselves out over things that don't matter, but I like to try to enjoy life. SO WHAT IF YOUR BOYFRIEND'S AN OTAKU?! I WANT an otaku boyfriend! Cuz that'd be something I can relate to him about. I honestly can't understand why it bothers them so much. If he's cute and has a good personality why is the fact that he's an otaku matter? Are you afraid you'll lose to the 2d girls? You should because women like this bitch WILL lose. I absolutely can't stand shallow women like her! I'm so incredibly lucky my best friends are also otakus and not one of these bitches. But it's women like this that ruin 3d women in the minds of male otaku and it sucks! So my message to male otaku is that not all women are like this! There are some decent women out there!
Hoh... Interesting...
I agree with the comments to the enquiry, but I suspect it was actually a troll(or she's just a retard)!
what wrong with being a otaku lol
If it took her 3 months to find out, he couldn't be that much of an otaku
Women like the one in the acticle are worthless with or without an otaku. If your friends are more important than your partner, then you don't need a partner.
What a bitch.
How stupid. Everything she said was stupid and ironic.
If you ask me, the guy would be better off not dating a person with personal issues who prejudices somebody like that without looking at themselves first.
for being so shallow as to think that makes me want to say yes
good lord have some self worth and pride if you care about him and he cares about they fuck everyone else(well no acctually fuck each other forget everyone else but you get my meaning) people who pass judgment are the worthless ones not those who spend their time enjoying them selves rather than critiquing how everyone else enjoys themselves.
If she does really love him, then she shouldn't be aware of his nature. =P
Why do some people are very sensitive about gossip and their reputation. Nothing can beat love.
what's wrong with dating an otaku boyfriend?, in fact I want one.
I have one :3
You want to see lower lifeforms then go to a prison.
Shallow stupid little egocentric bitch. I hope he leaves her.
How about an Otaku sugar-daddy?....when you're 18! (lol).
I miss London. I usually stay at the Hilton across from Hyde park. Your bath tubs are weirdly deep. I always laugh when I notice your newstands have daily (or weekend) papers with topless chicks on the cover right out in the open.
I miss Spearmint Rhino and the Garrick Arms tavern. Even the Guiness is better in London.
ah the so called 'Page 3 girls' haha, which are found in the newspaper The Sun. I want to go to London again, I've only ever been once which was when I was really small, it was to go see the London Zoo. I'll be counting the days until I'm 18 then haha, joking. How old do you think I am?
If she didn't start dating until she was 30, I'd say she wasn't that high in society to begin with.
"There’s no such thing as a perfect man."
That's right. :D
But I think the one you love is always perfect for your eyes :3
you like people for their merits, but you love them for their flaws
no one is perfect, but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn
not many people like me, but a few love me... what's that say about me :)
random inset of movie quote much?
creepy fast response dude...
yeah couldn't help it XD
It's the girl's loss if she chooses to break-up with him, not anyone else', unless he truly wants her.
If her narrow-mindedness persists and she chooses to break-up, well, good riddance. He wouldn't deserve her at that.
Whatever happened to accepting who, not what, one is?
Women are such selfish creatures
Man what a shallow bitch.
She needs to get over herself and realize that just because her boyfriend has a hobby associated with one of the lesser subcultures in the country, he seems to not succumb to any of the detrimental trappings of it.
no, humans are selfish creatures
such a sad, but true statement. it makes you wonder how people like her look at themselves in the mirror and not cry at what they see. i know plenty of otakus, most are very nice and good people. This guy doesn't sound so bad, he takes care of himself, hes not a shut-in, hes nice..whats to bitch about? He sounds like a rare catch these days. I also don't believe she knows what love really is, also explains why shes in her 30's and not married. If she loved him, none of that would be an issue, its what makes him, him. By the logic she used to determine "worth", since otaku's are worthless cause they like anime and manga, i guess people who are shoppaholics are worthless cause they like shopping, or people who eat are worthless cause they like to eat. If she keeps her mindset like this she wont be getting married anytime soon. We can only hope people like her get thinned out due to lack of breeding, only then the world might have a little peace.
well that is the female culture in japan...
maybe it's connected to the declining birth rate over there?
Ironic isn't it?
Despite wanting to be equal or wuteva, women still judge their worth based on the men they are attached to. They treat themselves as objects! LOL
JAPANESE women
Japan never went to Vietnam, remember?
Nope, many womans do that, not only japanese ones.
Anon never said anything about vietnam
There are toms of things I'd like to say to her...
1) You are dating someone who is CUTE AND YOUNGER THAN YOU.
2) He is NICE enough to date an old hag like you. He does not care about your age! It's really, REALLY hard to find such nice people!
3) He takes care of himself! That is a good thing!
So you discover that a brilliant,cute,nice,young and awesome guy who was dating you likes to watch anime and you CRY? you C-R-Y? WTF's wrong with you woman?
Are you implying that:
1) People who dyed their hair are GROSS?
2) People who make/watch anime are not worth it?
I hope you break up. For the sake of that man, please break up! Hope he gets someone more suitable.
You are worthless person for judging a person's worth. Your friends stink or you stink. I won't look at my friend differently based on who he dates. If you were my friend, I'd start ignoring you if I discovered how disgusting of a personality you have.
She's asking on the Internet? I guess she must not have much experience with it, people on the internet suck!! Okay, maybe not all of them.
“You’re talking about your worth with a stylish boyfriend 4 years your junior? You’re shy and in your thirties. The one who should be picky is your boyfriend.”
OH SNAP. LOL.
It might be him who was picky. According to her description of herself she's like adult version of Asahina.
Asking the internet these questions will get you a lot of answers but unless your getting replies from your friends it's not gonna remedy any anxieties. I think people should build the courage to ask the people there worried about these questions if they really want to get an answer they can use.
...Just to add though, I don't think it make her worthless
Ouch, a little harsh on her... I mean, she does have reasons she should be apprehensive to start a life with an otaku. Still,she kind of sounded like a bitch insinuating her boyfriend was worthless.
what an annoying and ungrateful bitch... no wonder she's still single at her thirties -_-
she should be glad at least someone want to date her...
I agree with the people who responded to this woman's post, and I'm female. It's good to hear that at least someone knows what's important in a relationship, even though I find it unfortunate that this woman didn't realize what kind of man (a good one!) she's got. Of course it's probably more unfortunate for the otaku in question...
hey, i'm a girl and don't think dating an otaku means you're worthless
in my place usually otaku classified as a clever, elite and rich person because this hobby is rare and expensive XP
if i were the BF i would dump her upon reading this post.Because the question is, does she really love you or does she love the facts that you have many wonderful features except a hobby that she questions. I love the criticism giving to her, she deserves it.
If I find a great guy I'm not gonna let a quirky hobby doubt my affections for em. While I can understand the massive peer pressure that's immersed in Japanese society she comes off as extremely shallow to me.
We're not all like that..
This woman sounds UNSPEAKABLY shallow, I hate how a girl's friends run her life. Still, knowing the kind of stigma, being involved with otaku places on a person in Japan I can sympathize a little bit. Of course, as an inexperienced 30-something year old woman in japan, she should be happy with whatever she can get...
Just be honest and admit that you wouldn't date a loser otaku if you were a girl.
otakus are worthless so by default the woman would become worthless. Go on, respond or negative rate you pathetic trash.
look who's talking... if you called us trash, you just made yourself one for thinking so shallow LoL...
The comments made pretty much hit the nail on the head. Some shy 30+ woman is bitching about her apparently good looking, younger boyfriend. Here's hoping reality sets in for her soon, her BEST chance is probably with an otaku anyway. She should be glad she at least got one that's stylish and good looking x_x
Well, seeing it from her point of view and how otaku are viewed in japan(it's a lot worse than many foreigners think), I couldn't blame her for being shocked at this discovery. However, she should be grateful she even has such a man dating her, I mean she stated herself that she's happy with him. And like many people said, if she has friends whom would look down upon her for that, then they shouldn't be considered her friends at all.
yes, obviously.
pfft, why would an otaku date a 30 year old hag when he could have his way with lovely 2d girls?
Otaku = Download = High Speed Internet = Cash
That's how it works in Indonesia. Sorry, Japan...
And damn, fucking internet is expensive.
i really dis like girls like this... caring more about what others around you think and not of you own.....
if you like it.... there shouldnt be any reason to stop liking it unless you lose interest...
Since she's over the big 3-0, I don't think she can afford to be picky about a boyfriend considering the chances of becoming a spinster are probably far greater.
She should totally leave him! Otaku are disgusting, an there are many other kind attractive men out there. If you would consider yourself an otaku then you're disgusting too. It’s fine to watch the occasional show, but if you live to buy little plastic girls and beat it to fuckin computer games then you're repulsive. find a real hobby, get a life and stop trying to stand up for a lifestyle that has an affixation for little girls!
If there is a balance between his ''otaku'' self and the ''stylish, kind, cute'' side of him, does it really matter?
I think its perfectly fine and it is a good balance.
On the other hand she's old so maybe the undateables should stay together.
thats so wrong i mean so the guy likes cartoons an having fun whats the big deal? honestly that's just messed up that she would think any woman who dates a guy like him could be "worthless" just for having a hobby
He's not watching pron so he's not a real man. Lol.
"There’s no such thing as a perfect man."
He's young, boy-faced, really cute, takes care of his hair and clothes, is stylish, and happens to like some of the most entertaining, worthwhile stuff in the world?!
Hell, if he also was an arcade goer he wouldn't be just "perfect", he'd be a fucking superhero!!
I could almost turn gay for a guy like that... or better yet, become his BFF. :D
The woman should dump his ass and get someone whose hobby doesn't involve talking to fictional figurines, playing erotic computer games and jerking off to wallpapers. The people who created these manga involving big breasted girls, pre-pubescent girls and lolitas are using FOOLS(otakus) to fill their wallets. They know that your lack of social skills will only limit you to talking to girls that do not really exist in real life. Best Advice: THERE IS A BIG WORLD OUTSIDE YOUR ROOMS SO COME OUT YOU FUCKING LOSERS AND GROW UP.
This woman is clearly retarded or needs to get some new fucking friends.
She's got a younger boyfriend who she admits is stylish, fashionable, cute, and able to hold a witty, or at least interesting conversation. A guy who makes every day happy for her. There are women who would kill to be in her shoes. Especially in Japan where the perception of a woman in her thirties being unmarried is not the greatest.
There are women who have to settle for a lot less than "My dream guy, but with one hobby I hate". Women who have to settle for "Any guy with one trait I kinda like".
I mean, hell... If he's as awesome as she claims, she should be gloating to her friends. I mean seriously.