Final Fantasy XIII – Zetsubou Shita! “It’s Just a Long Tunnel!”
- Categories: Games, News
- Date: Jan 13, 2010 06:33 JST
- Tags: Final Fantasy, Parody, Production Controversy, RPG, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei
Final Fantasy XIII detraction has reached its zenith with the game being lampooned for its extreme linearity in seminal satire Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei.
“They spent 5 years making huge dungeons which in the end were whittled down by superiors and marketing… Now it’s just a one-way tunnel!”
The diagram below:
Development Department – “I’ll bet today’s kids can’t clear it like that!”
That the game has been dumbed down into an excessively linear “CG movie player with RPG elements” has been the major bone of contention amongst fans and even a few commercial reviewers, although it seems likely the game will continue to be a great commercial success even as it is a critical failure, thanks to the overpowering Final Fantasy brand.
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Wait when did final fantasy 13 come out?
Where did all the people bitching about SanCon "hating" on this game go? Maybe now they'll realize that it's not really SanCon that's making shit up to make the game look bad, it's just one of the hot topic amongst Japanese gamers.
They probably went to actual gaming sites to read actual reviews instead of "this game is linear" over and over again.
Actual gaming sites bribed by sony, eh?
Maybe, but they at least give actual reviews with pros and cons about the game instead of just a couple of lines complaining about how linear the game is over and over again. I think gaming sites are more trustworthy than a site that doesn't give in-depth reviews and has a bunch of topics about mom raping sons, sons raping moms, etc
I like CG movies though. Maybe I'll rent it.
I think it's all for the best really anyway. I'd like to see Final Fantasy come out with a new fresh feeling in the games. If I had to put it abstractly, it seems like every game from 10 on had a sort of... caribbean island aesthetic to it'svisuals and so forth. And the stories themselves just felt similar.
7 and 8 also had similar feels. I think something new could either be cool and refreshing, or crush the brand hard enough to let a new unburdened star rise to the top.
"The shortest way to connect from a point A to another B is the FFXIII"
Maths, fuck yeah!!
FF13, what a normal game.
Wow....
So... It's just like every other Final Fantasy game then?
Yea, every other Final Fantasy games have you traveling in narrow passage ways the entire game. Seriously, do people not bother to reread their post for idiocy before posting?
Because Final Fantasy games are usually non-linear and innovative.
Super Mario Bros. is less linear.
i dont know, do you?
Hey retarded idiot. FF10 has you travelling in a narrow passage for 90% of the game. FF13 is just the natural evolution of that piece of shit (FF10) since they are made by the same team.
So where are all the FF12 bashers now? FF12 did it right with a fully nonlinear explorable world, tons of backtracking, and tons of optional quests.
yeah and you can play it for 5 years and still not beat it....
i guess you got your moneys worth, if your a fan of huge mmos.
i am more despaired when 360 version of ff13 is only 3dvd instead of 30
i was going to buy this game..now i have my doubts, ill probably still buy it but only if i have the money spare.
I wonder how Final fantasy XV will turn out if made?
There have been over 12 articles about how this game is linear.
Alright, it's linear. We get it.
But some of us don't care about sandbox games, nor do we mind long cut scenes. Some of us actually like this type of game.
I fucking agree with this guy 110%. How many fucking articles should there be about how FFXIII is linear.
To reiterate 08:34's point:
We. Get. It.
Then you need to change your news site :]
This from The Magic Box (http://www.the-magicbox.com/gaming.htm):
- In an interview with Final Fantasy XIII art director Isamu Kamikokuryou, he mentioned that a lot of content were deleted from the game due to game volume and overall game balance. For example there was a full area surrounding Lightning's home which resembled a park; and there was a secret base for the resistance group Nora inside a shop; and there was a zoo inside the amusement facility Nautiuls. Kamikokuryou said the size of the deleted content was enough to make another game.
Now, the chance that some stuff got cut off from the game due to it being ported to the Xbox 360 gets some base.
Finished ff13 yesterday and don't understand where is it bad.
Loved it from start to end.
I think I'll just wait for XIV.
has anyone else stopped and though that every game we play now and days is "linear" if it has an ending dosent that make it linear. if you take away the gold saucer or chocobo breeding from 7 its like 30+ hours of your life you'd have back. the card game from 8 or 9, blitzball and secret destinations from 10 and so on and so on its probably gonna be lined with DLC, and side missions taht will keep me playing for weeks
It's only a "critical failure" if you selectively exclude all the positive opinions. Might as well call any game that isn't universally liked by 100% of people (hint: no game is universally liked by 100% of people) a critical failure.
I like easy games that behave like linear movies. It saves me from thinking and using mah brain. I think this lowers the bar and is a good thing.
Final Fantasy XIII Bash Article #8912847658
the worst things about all the negative or positive publicity this game is getting, is the fact that it's still publicity.
if this game sucks, people are still going to try it out, because hey, we've been ranting and complaining and some people may want to see what all the fuss is about.
or even if the game isn't bad, the bad publicity may sway gamers to look away when it arrives overseas.
so far I've seen a lot of negative, with only 2 notable positive reviews; those being Famitsu and RPGfan http://www.rpgfan.com/reviews/Final_Fantasy_XIII/index.html
I don't know if a positive from a big and small company or good enough to sway me, but I still want to rent it.
Everyone who loved FF10 but hates FF13 for it being a "long tunnel" is retarded in the head.
FF10 WAS THE EXACT SAME WAY YOU IDIOTS.
At least FF13 lets you stare at a girl's ass most of the time. FF10 gave you that male meg ryan.
Morons.
I had such hope for this game. 5 years in the making.
FF13 *was* one of the reasons I *was* going to buy a PS3.
Now I will buy nothing. I will not buy this like a blind fanboy.
Another article...I'm not a huge FF fan, but wow...it's not THAT bad. I'm certainly enjoying it, flaws and all.
that there's the irony of it all. there're people out that who'd have you think you're in some sort of critical minority when the reality is its pretty far in the reverse
Wheres the post about all the good reviews? all the people that like it?
Nowhere. Because you're just reaching for hits.
ah, those would be a problem to point out. as that would ruin Arte's illusion that everyone hates FFXIII.
as would pointing out that FFXIII is hardly "the most divisive FF ever" considering its fan reviews have been as evenly split as the FF series has received since FF8 (thats right, its internet fan reviews that Sankaku loves hyping up as being horrible are pretty much the same as the last 6 FFs, including FFX which regularly ranks as the best FF nowadays, especially in Japan).
as would pointing out THE MAJORITY of critical responses (especially the critics that actually played the game, as opposed to openly admitting they're writing their "definitive" review based on 10 hours of play) have be, wait for it, POSITIVE.
its kind of funny to say it is a "great commercial success even as it is a critical failure" when its actually been by vast majority FAR from a critical failure.
it may not be the great classic that reviewers, and all the kids that played it when they were 12, thought FF7 was. but is definitely still scoring well above average critically. if thats a "critical failure", well... frankly you're nothing but trolling.
but pointing all those out would be bad cause that'll start to affect huge large the legion of parrot sheep (a not so rare breed it seems) that flock around these parts.
You mean the reviews commissioned by SE?
http://www.rpgfan.com/reviews/Final_Fantasy_XIII/index.html
A pretty good review of the game instead of Sankaku's 10 or so topic on how linear the game is.
this is really the review people SHOULD be reading if they insist on letting other people make their decisions for them.
its a review of what FFXIII is, not what it isn't.
Clark wasn't playing FFVII and noting how FFXIII wasn't it
He critiques the good and the bad of what FFXIII does, and regardless what his personal opinion of the game ultimately was, THAT is a good critical review (not some BS from people that played 10 hours/minutes expecting an FFVII remake)
OK thanks for the link then :)
If the game is linear, then if you buy the 360 version, you won't be swapping disks all the time. Brilliant move by Square-enix!
Frustrated ps3 fanboys searching for some conspiracy ?? :D
Oh look, it's THIS tread again.
In fairness it's been a whole fours days, I bet it's killed them to last this long.
It is not a critical failure, thanks.
I agree, it's a failure as a game.
so we can all agree you haven't even played it right?
cause that tends to be the trend of people who say "it's a failure as a game", especially around here.
I agree.
I bet if Square-Enix remakes Final Fantasy VII, people will still find ways to bitch and complain about it.
The comic makes a point. It will sell well due to the hard work of their marketing team. They know about the kids these days.
I came.
Oh Sankaku, whats with the FFXIII hate? =)
cause mindless trolling leads to hits?
Because it deserves it.
ZING!
more like frustration of seeing how pathetic a game turned out to be in a once great series of games
Another hit-or-miss to add to the series's pile hardly drags the series down. I doubt theres anyone who simultaneously likes 10-2, 8, 7, 3 and Mystic Quest.
Having one bad game won't make any series bad, people still like Indiana Jones even after moaning about the 4th.
This^
It doesn't mean I'll stop giving Square's FF a go when new ones come out. Still, I imported and I sing with the choir...this one is pretty...boring.
HAHA! ZING!
Im in despair ! This world where linear games rules because of overpowering marketing has left me in despair !!!
|
Ill escort myself to that rope over there O
I'm also in despair on works that dumb themselves down for a certain audience (ahem)
I'm in despair too! I'm in despair that the industry seems to take loyalty for granted!! Everyone takes loyalty for granted nowdays:
husbands take loyalty of their wives for granted
wives take the loyalty of husbands for granted
big box stores take the loyalty of their customers for granted
insane dictators take their citizens for granted
the NHL takes their fans for granted
FOX takes the simpsons for granted
people take their credit cards for granted
children take their parents for granted
nintendo lovers take nintendo for granted
microsoft takes their monopoly for granted
boyfriends and girlfriend take themselves for granted
hookers take their STD free bodies for granted
suicidal manic depressives take their lives for granted
kyoto studio takes haruhi suzumiya for granted
otaku take haruhi suzumiya's loyalty for granted
>wives take the loyalty of husbands for granted
wives take the loyalty of husbands credit cards for granted <--- Fixed.
@Anon 10.25
I can hear Kitsu Chiri coming to tsukkomi you...
Anime industry changing to "Ecchi with no story"granted
people thinking otakus are all Disgusting granted
people thinking otakus are all the same granted
new Anime wave of 2010 is bricks of shit granted
almost hentai anime with F***ing silly story 10th season granted
"Eh, Kafuka-chan, don't you have anything to say?"
". . ."
Oh sensei =)
"ya da na sensei"
haha.MW2 ROCKS.its best selling game after all
Because, as FFXIII has shown us, selling well means that a game is awesome!
The modern casual player oriented game market that fouled the FF series leaves me in despair...
I don't even know if I will play it when it comes out in europe. Maybe i'll just hope for FFVII remake.
Van-d-all, you best take sick masochistic pleasure from playing rougelikes to make that statement.
What game? =)
i like the 'ffxiii sucks for X reason" articles because it's amusing to read all the pissed off comments =3
Just watch the walkthrough on Youtube. It's basically the same as playing it.
LOL long tunnel, nice troll
This shit isn't a game anymore to begin with!
Oh Sensei im sure its still an enjoyable game
You need to register "Kafuka_Fuura" as a nickname to prevent getting downrated for such a comment ;)
It's not linear. It's just easy modo!
Its a visual novel; but you can only play the main route ;)
EHHH!? SRSLY!? EEJII MODO IS FOR GRADESCHOOLERS!
GROSS!
Sadly it will still sell well in the US, Even worse is I'LL still buy it.
I love SZS, they parody everything and I'll always laugh.
But really, FFXIII is just too linear
I think this is not refering to the Final Fantasy XIII - as the previous FFs (XII) were published on 2006. That means they only spent 3 years to develop the huge dungeons.
I guess it is Dragon Quest IX that Zetsubou sensei is talking about, which was also problematic with their "liner dungeon". And the fact that Dragon Quest VIII was published on 2004 supports my point, that they had good 5 years to develop a magneficient dangeon :D
Actually, production on a new final fantasy game does not start only when the last one is released, their production schedules overlap and run concurrently for some years. It takes a long time to produce an ff game.
And considering they're also releasing two Crystal Chronicles games, updating XI, various Kingdom Hearts projects, Dragon Quest carryovers, and some other titles I can't think of, they have programmers to spare.
Of course, things were a lot better back when they focused on one game at a time.
Seeing another article just makes me think of this:
Vanille/etc doujins where?
tired of hearing the same crap about this game.. its a great game leave it alone lol
And still it is the best RPG in this Gen =)
I had 123 hours of pure fun
Maybe it is just so good because there are only FAIL RPGs out except ToV PS3 Version =)
This subject has been discussed quite a bit here...
Like I said earlier, see earlier articles, they should get some "Indy" games makers, focusing on storytelling ability. Just sit down, play their stuff, see if they like it.
I'm for Indie games makers, professional storytellers, philosiphers getting a hand in another attempt. Telling a story that is nothing but entertainment again and again becomes dry and pointless. But there are lots of "True" stories that could be woven into the game to create both a marketable entertaining experience and strike such a nerve they create another "Classic" as they did accidentally with FF7 or deliberately with Ultima4.
how about if we get some fucking gamers to make videogames so we can have games again instead of some glorified 3D anime with a shitty overdone storyline
Remember a Simpsons episode where Bart is denied the I&S movie and he goes "Well, I can make up my OWN Itchy and Scratchy"... So then his thought balloon just has them standing there weakly going "Hahah.... ha... hah...." and he goes "Doh! Durn network TV ruining my creativity"....
I think if you gave a "Gamer" total control of the creative process, you'd get something between grotesque plagiarism, crude unartistic imitation, tons of boobs and gore to get it banned and possibly strange effects for additional mockery. It'd get a worse review than that SNES game that seems to be a fighting game with strong gay overtones...
The person to tap to make a good FF is an "Indie" game maker, I vote for the "BitBlot" team myself. But also include a storyteller and philosopher.
I might make a game myself some day, perhaps using one of those "Build" engines. But if I do it, it'll be to tell a story, such as from my online comic, not just make the next "Zap em" thing. Not that I'm against fun "Zap Em" recently wasted some good free time on "Spelunky" and "Star Guard", both free to d/l and play...
Go ON, there's "Torque" and other construction engines and "C" isn't as difficult to learn. Lots of 3D engines free or cheap, too. Willing to put the concentration used to play 'em into MAKING 'em? Do it. It's far, FAR easier than it's ever been and getting easier by the year.
hmm... this is like a final fantasy version of endless 8.. we just keep seeing the same thing over, and over, and over again..
when will it all end!?!?
the insanity, the inhumanity!! the vegetarianism!!!!!
Love Zetsubou for jokes like these.
Zetsubou Sensei is awesome. If it says FF13 is bad its gotta be true.
Lame joke,its not even funny at all...and sankaku is suck for posting bad news about the game.Where is all the good news noob.You guys suck man only know how to pose some shit ass news.I bet the guy who do all this have a fuk up mind which want to see the world get destroyed .
^ *cough* fag *cough*
HaHa, Fanboy radar detected.
ButtHurt Much huh?
Today's RPG players need so much hand-holding that Square-Enix has to make a long snaking tunnel so they won't get lost.
I'm surprised fanboys haven't rallied around and proclaim how the long ass corridor is the height of designing brilliance, one only Square-Enix is capable of.
I'm sure the feature of not letting you return to old areas is another brilliant touch by Square-Enix as well. Heh, it all becomes clear now: why bother spending so much time and effort since the players will only pass through it once. Just throw them in an endless tunnel, scatter some CG and call it story progression.
Honestly I would love to have an PS3 or XBOX 360 to play this game, I really don't give a shit about the linearity issue.
I'm in despair. This excessive amount of FFXIII news has left me in despair!
Nah, if I want to play linear "games" with a nice story I'll just stick to visual novels.
Itoshiki: Linear...
FFXIII: Linear te yuuna!
Me thinks, that his topic has become linear to the extreme.
>>although it seems likely the game will continue to be a great commercial success even as it is a critical failure, thanks to the overpowering Final Fantasy brand.
You really haven't thought that maybe people like the game THAT way? Yes, maybe it's not like previous FF-games. So what?
Linear != Bad.