Japanese Marriage, According to Google
- Categories: Japan, News
- Date: Nov 10, 2009 10:05 JST
- Tags: Bizarre, Comparison, Google, Internet, Marriage, Money, Relationships
Google’s search auto-suggest feature provides some despair inducing insights into the nature of Japanese matrimony, seemingly encapsulating the institution in disturbing detail…
The suggestions themselves are thought to be based on Google’s database of search terms frequently occurring together (although Google is known to censor these quite heavily to remove anything it considers unseemly). Enterprising 2channelers soon found some interesting results by inputting “husband” and “wife.”
Firstly, the English language results for Google.com by way of comparison:
The suggestions for Google.co.jp in translation (due to Japanese grammar and sentence structure the wording is altered slightly to make sense):
For “husband” (夫 / otto):
[I want my] husband to die
[I hate my] husband
Husband average pocket money (see here)
Husband verbal violence
Husband pocket money
[How to address] husband
Husband death procedure
Husband depression
Husband unemployed
Husband death pension
Very similar results can be found for “danna,” a word typically used by wives to address their husbands.
For “wife” (妻 / tsuma):
Wife birthday present
Wife birthday present ranking
Wife present
Wife hysteria
[How to address] wife
Wife depression
Wife present ranking
Wife kenjougo (a type of humble speech, traditionally used by wives to address husbands)
Wife common law marriage
Wife shochu (a type of rice liquor)
Anyone thinking about marrying a Japanese woman might be well advised to think long and hard about these results…
Saijaku Muhai no Bahamut Ceaselessly Naughty
“Abusive” Breast-Groping Fundraiser Molested by Petition
Hanayo Koizumi’s Birthday Highly Revered
Toyota Prius CM Goes Full KanColle Mode
Usamimi Anette-san Micro-Bikini Figure
A Full Course Dream 3some “An Otaku Wet-Dream”
Dimension W “Both Cute & Grotesque!”
Monster Monpiece Naked Trailer Shamelessly Shameless
Digimon Adventure Tri PV Full of Promise
Tekken Moves Performed in Real Life
Energetic Lucky Chloe Figure
Otoko No Ko Harem – Will You Admit To Wanting This?
Dagashi Kashi Irresistibly Sweet
Oshiete Gyaruko-chan Pantsu-A-Plenty
Nitroplus Blasterz English Trailer Quite Rousing
Valkyria Chronicles Remaster Trailer Retells The Tale
Sickeningly Sweet Enju Aihara Miko Figure
Top 20 Anime Girls With The Sexiest Ponytails
Lovely Nekomimi Ero-MMD Quite Handy
Koukaku no Pandora “Nonstop Girl-Love!”
Skimpy Sonico Cosplay Barely Contained
Kumiko & Reina Cosplay Hardly Blows At All
Skimpy Elf Bikini Cosplay by Saku Supremely Sexy
Gothic Lolita Hatsune Miku Cosplay Busts Out
Delectable Dizzy Cosplay by Lechat
Dark Elf Cosplay by Non Very Dark Indeed
Titillating Tamako Cosplay Perfectly Pink
Goddess of 2ch: “Full of Lust & Urges (& Also Videos)!”
Raunchy Reisen Inaba Cosplay by Tsuyato
Haruhi Bunny Girl Cosplay Rocks Out
Holllllllly Crappppp o__O
I love Japan but would never want to live there for reasons such as these.
Now I wonder how Azrael of Gaijin Smash got his awesome wife...
Azrael has better bonuses to his Sense Motive and Spot Checks than your average Japanese man.
Let's hope Miki (his wife's name, iirc) never goes Googling..... <_<
Nice.
Funny!
One of our gaming party suprised us all by in-game marrying a succubus.
"Dude! She's a SUCCUBUS! Why would you have sex with her, let alone marry her?!"
"'Cause all women are soul-stealing demonesses from Hell. I might as well get myself a hot-looking, horny one."
Black men probably get to name their own pocket money.
For reasons of ethnic stereotyping, obviously.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
no wonder there are many otakus who stick to dakimura and stuff over there
marriage = death sentence
>Husband average pocket money
This made me sad.
>[I want my] husband to die
Made me sadder =(
Sad face :(
thats just hilarious
[I want my] husband to die
[I hate my] husband
are the first two... wow
you know you're in trouble when the wife types that often.....
Good reason to go through their search history. If any of these come up, get your ass the hell outta there!
...Virtual waifu don't use google...do they?
You'd think they could just use the Hotline to Hell instead of consulting Google...
They are talking about their workaholic Japanese husbands. We are "gaijin" we are different!! ^^
If google runs on recommending the top searches when entering a word, jap husbands have quite a short life span...
O.O it seems japanese women take their gifts verrryyyyy seriously :/
Seems like they're constantly trying to placate their wives...
xD
... because they're plotting to kill them.
No idea how 2ch got their results, but when I googled 夫 on the .jp site, I got completely different results.
Actually there are also more results about killing girlfriends...
I just noticed that one. I think he just got unlucky to be honest. Of course you are not helping by being a non-voting anon...
What the heck, you mean there's still a noteworthy number of arranged marriages?
Off topic, I don't understand why anon 14:26 is getting the low-rank.
The resulting quality of highranking/lowranking system is rather becoming skewed I feel, not due to its design but due to the participants involved.
What do you think, Artefact?
You need to add the space.
Type a space like "夫 ".
You're right. Didn't look too hard, so I never noticed the space was there.
Still, it's hardly something to shout about. The more normal results I got by NOT adding the space had far more hits..
I looked a bit at some of the top hits for the suggestions in this article though, and the reasons for them appearing were pretty interesting. A lot of the "hate"-threads seemed to be the result of arranged marriages... So, eh, I guess we should look out for those?
If you want to work out the common searches you need to try the common sentence prefixes and then add the subject you're looking for.
Alternatively you can use Google sets. It shows you the words directly related to your search. You can see that there is a lot of web material related to husband murdering even in English:
http://labs.google.com/sets?hl=en&q1=husband&q2=&q3=&q4=&q5=&btn=Large+Set [http://labs.google.com/sets?hl=en&q1=husband&q2=&q3=&q4=&q5=&btn=Large Set]
hilariously sad, that is.
+1 ^_^;
Google can make your day~
lols yeah xD what the wives search and husband searches ..... i pity them ...
Okay, now I'm really scared @_@
they treat us like crap... they r lucky to be called wife, but WE are luckier to have PENIS :)
Google can even find your socks.
I don't understand the need to marry in the first place, unless you're religious. My uncle and aunt have been together all their life, and have 3 kids, the oldest of which is 15, and they never married. They don't see any point. Well, neither do I. There are no real benefits what so ever. There are however DISadvantages when the two involved ecide to split up, and get a divorce. When not married however, splitting up is alot less of a headache.
"Wife birthday present"
That one seems nice but expensive D:
It's funny and a little surprising to me only because I don't have a Japanese wife, If I did I think I would be shitting bricks right about now.
Plus, there's the problem with tax.
At least where I live, married couples get huge tax benefits.
Just living together and not marrying is much more expensive.
It's a pretty male-dominated society in Japan
so my guess is that wives bust the balls of their husbands nation-wide out of an almost cultural scorn for that
lol. Women rule.
Marriage is a contract that protects both parties in case of divorce, death, birth etc. It dictates rights and responsibilities. *Not* getting married is actually quite risky. What happens if either one of them dies, or if they break up? You don't have to believe in any fantasy ghost figures to get married... Ofc it is possible to protect your rights with other mutual *written and notarized* contracts, but would it really be worth the trouble ;)
Wife swap XD
"Anyone thinking about marrying a Japanese woman might be well advised to think long and hard about these results…"
lolwut? You don't marry them, you only fuck them ;)
Japanese men thinks about what to give their waifu and what their wife want is... Google is against japanese men
AHAHAHA! Now this is what a win article is like.
GOOD JOB ARTEFACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am married with Japanese woman, and my life is living hell.. i thought they ware cute... but really Japanese ppl are fuked up, i wish i can divorce her soon....
According to this in order to make the recent anime more realistic they just gotta make the cute girls try to poison the main character in his sleep.