Japanese Marriage, According to Google
- Categories: Japan, News
- Date: Nov 10, 2009 10:05 JST
- Tags: Bizarre, Comparison, Google, Internet, Marriage, Money, Relationships
Google’s search auto-suggest feature provides some despair inducing insights into the nature of Japanese matrimony, seemingly encapsulating the institution in disturbing detail…
The suggestions themselves are thought to be based on Google’s database of search terms frequently occurring together (although Google is known to censor these quite heavily to remove anything it considers unseemly). Enterprising 2channelers soon found some interesting results by inputting “husband” and “wife.”
Firstly, the English language results for Google.com by way of comparison:
The suggestions for Google.co.jp in translation (due to Japanese grammar and sentence structure the wording is altered slightly to make sense):
For “husband” (夫 / otto):
[I want my] husband to die
[I hate my] husband
Husband average pocket money (see here)
Husband verbal violence
Husband pocket money
[How to address] husband
Husband death procedure
Husband depression
Husband unemployed
Husband death pension
Very similar results can be found for “danna,” a word typically used by wives to address their husbands.
For “wife” (妻 / tsuma):
Wife birthday present
Wife birthday present ranking
Wife present
Wife hysteria
[How to address] wife
Wife depression
Wife present ranking
Wife kenjougo (a type of humble speech, traditionally used by wives to address husbands)
Wife common law marriage
Wife shochu (a type of rice liquor)
Anyone thinking about marrying a Japanese woman might be well advised to think long and hard about these results…
Ano Hana Naruko Anjo Anal Dress Figure
Top 10 Most Followed Seiyuu
Wonder Festival 2012 Winter Wondrous As Ever
Ciel nosurge: “Your Date With Ion = $170″
Nisemonogatari – “Where Did All The Ero Go!?”
Police Hunt Ushijima for “Public Indecency”
Cops Bust Cop in Nude BDSM Club Raid
K-ON! “Causes Keionbu Girl Band Boom”
Vippers vs Vankers: 2ch Targets “Korean Propaganda”
Overflow Delays “Final” Game: “We Are Not Going Bankrupt!”
Ritsu Topless Manga Time – “She Has Boobs After All!”
Top 10 Most Boring Anime of Winter 2012
Behold: The ONACOUNTER
Future Diary Unveils Eye-Popping Scenes of Sex & Guro
K-ON! Pilgrims Invade London
Top 10 Essential Anime Elements
Lolicon Teacher Rapes Pupils 37 Times, Faces 30 Years
Strike Witches Movie Trailer Unveiled
China Menaced by Exploding Coins
TMA Makes “BL” Tiger & Bunny Cosplay AV
“Post The Highest Level Cosplay Ever!”
“Share The Cutest Cosplay Ever”
“Dolls vs Figures – Which is Best?”
“Why Do Girls Always Have Such Cute Rooms!?”
Ranka Lee Wedding Dress Cosplay by Tomia
Shoko-tan’s Madoka & Ika-chan Cosplay “Excessively Cute”
Guilty Crown Yuzuriha Inori Cosplay by Sasa
IdolMaster G4U: “Who Needs 3D Idols Now?”
Anegasaki Nene Cosplay by Rinami
“I Want To See What The Vipper Girls Wear To Bed!”
Holllllllly Crappppp o__O
I love Japan but would never want to live there for reasons such as these.
Now I wonder how Azrael of Gaijin Smash got his awesome wife...
Azrael has better bonuses to his Sense Motive and Spot Checks than your average Japanese man.
Let's hope Miki (his wife's name, iirc) never goes Googling..... <_<
Nice.
Funny!
One of our gaming party suprised us all by in-game marrying a succubus.
"Dude! She's a SUCCUBUS! Why would you have sex with her, let alone marry her?!"
"'Cause all women are soul-stealing demonesses from Hell. I might as well get myself a hot-looking, horny one."
Black men probably get to name their own pocket money.
For reasons of ethnic stereotyping, obviously.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
no wonder there are many otakus who stick to dakimura and stuff over there
marriage = death sentence
>Husband average pocket money
This made me sad.
>[I want my] husband to die
Made me sadder =(
Sad face :(
thats just hilarious
[I want my] husband to die
[I hate my] husband
are the first two... wow
you know you're in trouble when the wife types that often.....
Good reason to go through their search history. If any of these come up, get your ass the hell outta there!
...Virtual waifu don't use google...do they?
You'd think they could just use the Hotline to Hell instead of consulting Google...
They are talking about their workaholic Japanese husbands. We are "gaijin" we are different!! ^^
If google runs on recommending the top searches when entering a word, jap husbands have quite a short life span...
O.O it seems japanese women take their gifts verrryyyyy seriously :/
Seems like they're constantly trying to placate their wives...
xD
... because they're plotting to kill them.
No idea how 2ch got their results, but when I googled 夫 on the .jp site, I got completely different results.
Actually there are also more results about killing girlfriends...
I just noticed that one. I think he just got unlucky to be honest. Of course you are not helping by being a non-voting anon...
What the heck, you mean there's still a noteworthy number of arranged marriages?
Off topic, I don't understand why anon 14:26 is getting the low-rank.
The resulting quality of highranking/lowranking system is rather becoming skewed I feel, not due to its design but due to the participants involved.
What do you think, Artefact?
You need to add the space.
Type a space like "夫 ".
You're right. Didn't look too hard, so I never noticed the space was there.
Still, it's hardly something to shout about. The more normal results I got by NOT adding the space had far more hits..
I looked a bit at some of the top hits for the suggestions in this article though, and the reasons for them appearing were pretty interesting. A lot of the "hate"-threads seemed to be the result of arranged marriages... So, eh, I guess we should look out for those?
If you want to work out the common searches you need to try the common sentence prefixes and then add the subject you're looking for.
Alternatively you can use Google sets. It shows you the words directly related to your search. You can see that there is a lot of web material related to husband murdering even in English:
http://labs.google.com/sets?hl=en&q1=husband&q2=&q3=&q4=&q5=&btn=Large+Set [http://labs.google.com/sets?hl=en&q1=husband&q2=&q3=&q4=&q5=&btn=Large Set]
hilariously sad, that is.
+1 ^_^;
Google can make your day~
lols yeah xD what the wives search and husband searches ..... i pity them ...
Okay, now I'm really scared @_@
they treat us like crap... they r lucky to be called wife, but WE are luckier to have PENIS :)
Google can even find your socks.
I don't understand the need to marry in the first place, unless you're religious. My uncle and aunt have been together all their life, and have 3 kids, the oldest of which is 15, and they never married. They don't see any point. Well, neither do I. There are no real benefits what so ever. There are however DISadvantages when the two involved ecide to split up, and get a divorce. When not married however, splitting up is alot less of a headache.
"Wife birthday present"
That one seems nice but expensive D:
It's funny and a little surprising to me only because I don't have a Japanese wife, If I did I think I would be shitting bricks right about now.
Plus, there's the problem with tax.
At least where I live, married couples get huge tax benefits.
Just living together and not marrying is much more expensive.
It's a pretty male-dominated society in Japan
so my guess is that wives bust the balls of their husbands nation-wide out of an almost cultural scorn for that
lol. Women rule.
Marriage is a contract that protects both parties in case of divorce, death, birth etc. It dictates rights and responsibilities. *Not* getting married is actually quite risky. What happens if either one of them dies, or if they break up? You don't have to believe in any fantasy ghost figures to get married... Ofc it is possible to protect your rights with other mutual *written and notarized* contracts, but would it really be worth the trouble ;)
Wife swap XD
"Anyone thinking about marrying a Japanese woman might be well advised to think long and hard about these results…"
lolwut? You don't marry them, you only fuck them ;)
Japanese men thinks about what to give their waifu and what their wife want is... Google is against japanese men
AHAHAHA! Now this is what a win article is like.
GOOD JOB ARTEFACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am married with Japanese woman, and my life is living hell.. i thought they ware cute... but really Japanese ppl are fuked up, i wish i can divorce her soon....
According to this in order to make the recent anime more realistic they just gotta make the cute girls try to poison the main character in his sleep.
Does this mean that most men are nicer people? I mean all they want is for her to be happy while there wifes want to kill them.
Now who's the monster?
hahahahaha in my country you google husband or wife and all you get is "husband/wife of_put celebrity name here_"
So none of you here are entertaining the notion that at least some of these women could have married jerks who more or less deserve to die? I have known a lot of bad wives and as many bad husbands. Considering the monolithic response from San Com users, I'm not so surprised that so many of you are unlikely to ever get a girlfriend, much less a wife. Relationships are difficult at best and tend to require a lot of compromise. If you choose carefully, and act appropriately (You _love_ her, after all) you'll be happy to trade a few of your Otaku hobbies for your new hobby (her).
while man were thinking of wat present for their wives their wives are thinking of how to take their husband life....
pity them
wow jap wifes are rather scary, duno how those gus sleep at night with them knowing she might just stab him in his sleep... 0_0
hahahaha a japanese woman is like a slut >......<
the only reason she hangs around is because she want's your money..
OH woe is japan's marital system..
I wonder who'll create manga after Japan dies from negative deographic growth..
Japan: [I want my] husband to die 674000 searches
Russia: I want to kill my husband 914000 searches
Japan: I hate my husband >2000000 searches
Russia: I hate my husband 700000 searches
hm... whatever. Idiots are everywhere.
я хочу убить мужа (I want to kill my husband) - 521 000 (google) 11 000 000 (yandex)
lol'ed
It's a bitter trick to suggest web searches count is meaningful.
"otto utsu" and "tsuma utsu" could also stand for "shoot husband" and "shoot wife". I wonder which one is the "utsu" in question.
Japanese women are scary that is all I will say
Actually I will add to that.
And people wonder why so many are going 2D? All the 3D women out there are turning into whores and gold diggers everywhere.
Sure it may be an unfair generalization but you got to admit that you can't feel the same way I do when you look at the kids today.
Husband Pillow....
i will take the one on the left thx.
eh.. nothing new T_T..
Oh well.. I at least liked the idolmaster (yuri <3) image x)
I'd like to believe that these results are more because the wives are treated like shit than because they're evil.
Despite all of the other articles pointing strongly towards evil.
The problem isn't Japanese women, it's the standard relationship between Japanese couples. The bloke works himself to death all day and the woman looks after the house and spends his money. There's no love.
We must save the Japanese women from this nightmare!
Husband in spanish!?!?!? WTFLOL xDD
You'll have better results if you see google of Latin American countries.
some results:
"esposas y esposos" (Swinging)
"marido por accidente"
"marido por error"
"marido y marido"
"esposa inocente"
"esposa indomable"
"esposa infraganti"
"esposas de alquiler"
"esposas y amantes"
Esposo, marido
In google Brazil
marido por acaso = husband by chance
marido de aluguel = husband rent
marido traido = Cuckold
in spanish you get for wife: swingers (wives authorized to swing or something) as no1 and a bunch of uninteresting desperate housewives (the show) suggestions
for husband you get a porn website where couples show videos of themselves, a lame foundation name, "husbands making love" and other uninteresting things
most of the lower ranking suggestions are "wife of x" or "husband of x" with x being some public figure
Enjoy the google emo '-'
I unearthed something like this a long while back, on Google's adsense (blog link): http://randomuses.blogspot.com/2008/05/coincidence-in-technology-fun-article.html
Hey wait, isn't that Makoto's rival stealing a kiss from her in the headline image?
Ok, that's some scary shit
There are some devastating assumptions being made here based on Google searches.
See society. THIS it the result of the your precious lauded twentieth-century Sexual Revolution! Pansy men who try to appease their hymenstrous Idol; said idol which predates on men(and even 2D Godnesses in some ill-fortuned cases http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/10/30/love-plus-adultery-nearly-ends-in-divorce/) demanding SACRIFICE in BLOOD and SHINIES; and worse, plotting behind our backs the fall of MANKIND. They are empty husks; a charades of MAN trying to pass as our economical equals. But behind THAT door, there they are conferencing with their otherworldly kin, scheming domestical (and eventually global) domination. Developing new derranged, twisted ways in which to control us! "Pocket Money!", "Rape!", "Sexual Emancipation!" "Kenjougo!" The UNIVERSAL language of WOMEN; a belittling, hypocritical and hidden speech of DARKNESS. The obscure tongue meant to find us. to lure us, to keep us and in the darkness bind us. Forevar.
BROTHERS!, we must fight back! Gather courage to stand proudly before their alluring marsh; find strength and INSENSIBILITY to weather their emotional storm; search for enough dignity and self-love as to be sober after a one-hundreth series of REJECTION, get enough BOOZE and PR0N(and; God forbid it, even GAY LUV) to stand in weeks and weeks of sexual starvation. Rally your weapons; people!.
...And yes; FIRE is the key to send them whimpering to their dark END! WE MUST FIGHT THEE; LEST YOU DESTROY MY WORLD!
For We Are Many.
But in all seriousness; sexual emancipation in Japan seems to exalt the Macbethian qualities of japanese women.
For We Are Many.
wow this is horrible... maybe the institution of marriage is just not fit for a modern society...
This is like a Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei joke. Totally depressing yet funny at the same time.
OMFG LMAO EPIC!
Anime characters are propaganda to make tsundere women acceptable...
Sure it's cute when the pink haired alien girl hits you with a shoe for looking at another woman...in real life SHOES HURT!!!
People don't realize how much easier it is to get a "School Days" ending in real life...run while you still can!
You go 3D and a Japanese Waifu doesn't sound that heavenly anymore...
THIS IS MADNESS!
uhm this is really freaking me out >.<
here is the result in spanish
Google changes suggestions/search results based on browser history, for those wondering.
Oh god. So much "yan" and not enough "dere" everywhere >.>
A wise married man makes sure he is never more financially valuable to his wife when he is dead than when he is alive.
Still Gonna Marry one!
Just let us know where to send the flowers (for the wake).
Just be sure to keep a knife by your side and to test all your food before you eat it.
actually in some region of japan wife killed her husband by KCN in meal to divorce... 70 years ago..
Well, now I know that japanese women are to be admired from afar (dating and sex only). ;_;
That's why you go order a bride from China
I thought brides were pretty much the only think China didn't export, due to the gender imbalance?
So they can pirate my stuff?
No thanks
Hey its elmo!
ah hell
oh damn this is sad.never knew japanese wife always pray for bad thing for their husband.hope mine is not