Man Saws Off Own Penis: “This Happens All The Time”
- Categories: International, News
- Date: Jul 7, 2009 05:52 JST
- Tags: Accidents, Bizarre, Guro, Medical, Penis Abuse, UK
A carpenter who accidentally sawed off his own penis is apparently embarrassed by the hideous accident, which according to his mother “happens all the time” to the people in his profession.
The man (54) was sawing wood when he somehow managed to saw his penis off.
An ambulance was soon on its way, and found him bleeding in his bathtub. After being rushed to hospital, surgeons were able to reattach his penis.
Speaking to journalists, his mother shared an unexpected fact about carpenters:
“Stuart is a carpenter and uses sharp and sometimes dangerous tools.”
She goes on to admit that it was an unfortunate accident, but hardly uncommon:
“This was an unfortunate accident but these things happen all the time to people in his profession. I have spoken to him and he is quite embarrassed about the whole incident.”
Via the Telegraph.
Apparently, accidental penis amputation is now little more than an embarrassing inconvenience thanks to the marvels of modern medicine…
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Hazards at work eh?
reminds me of that one episode of American Dad...
Sure it wasn't a case of dumb ppl using DIY tools as sex toys again?
I'd advise him to pay attention next time, but he obviously saw it comming...
At least it seems they where able to re attach it poor fellow.remember always where a cup when cutting wood ,ouch bad one lol
I, choppee-choppee your pee-pee! XD
http://bit.ly/Idfwc
Hate to break it to you, but whether your wearing pants or not is not going to save your penis from a chainsaw. The chainsaw is going to rip through the pants like butter.
Now I don't wanna be a carpenter if it's a common thing that their penises are being sawed off everytime they work!
YES! I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE TO DO THIS! I feel so much better about myself now.
man, I did this too but I accidently cut off my leg also.
Oh god.....
*shivers*
He has now officially lost his manliness. I feel bad for him
Except for the fact that they reattached it..?
...Like a Boss?
This aint that bad. I've seen people doing that on purpose! T^T
How do you accidentally saw your dick off? Does he work naked?
I WARNED YOU ABOUT SAWS BRO!!!
I TOLD YOU DOG!!
Wrong wood
'Tis but a flesh wound
that picture is scary
His "Wood" seems gigantic-sized...
LOL But they're right, really! Because I have the feeling that I have been reading such news quite a lot this year.
I'm pretty sure nobody can saw off his penis accidentally... NOBODY!!
I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!! *cuts off his penis*
WTF!?
Just saw in a newspaper that the guy was drunk. Even so it's quite a feat...
Was he "testing" the smoothness of the wood. =_=
I can't fathom how you could have your penis exposed to be sawn off.
You've gotta be either retarded or trying to fap and saw shit and the same time...
he cut the wrong wood!
It's the right one if he cannot even identify his own wood.
laughing and crying here.You made my day lol i was rolling.
How one accidentally saws off his cock? I mean, does he have a habit of working naked or what?
Ugh.
If i should guess how he did it, it would have to be something like this: Imagine you hold your plank of wood againt your waist or so. With your other hand you hold the saw. He was probbly a little sloppy when he was sawing downwards holding the saw a little wrong and when the plank gave in.....yeah
Boner time costs him greatly,at least girls don't have nothing to worry about if they have the same job
Ouch.
Gotta love Sawyer the Cleaner (opening picture).
Fuck yeah, Black Lagoon. S3 fucking where?
King Missile - Detachable Penis
I thought this article had something to do with that song ._.;;
lol...
Cue AMV Hell segment in 3... 2... 1...
this is what happened:
He was supposed to cut a piece of wood that was given to him by a friend. But suddenly, the wood transformed into a delicious flat chested goddess in human form - nagi.
The carpenter, seeing nagi, can't help but be aroused by the delicious cake in front of him. He was thinking of stroking his cock but he forgot he was holding a saw.
THE END
Amazing comment is amazing.
lol'd
What????
Watch more anime smooth guy.
Hmm ~
well, accidents do happen... yes? - O.o
Carpentering is a very serious business.
So how exactly do you manage to do this?
Do you saw a piece of wood with the penis erect or something?
I just cant understand.
What was he doing in the bathtub?
Probably freezing his muscles.
Or Jerking Of.....
Oh Right i forgot HE SAWED IT OFF...
I don't either. Somehow I think it wasn't an accident.
Failure to follow common-sense safety precautions.
Jeez, the list of "Do Not Do ..." items in the safety warnings for saws just got longer.
I call this "the manufacturer's we-have-to-tell-you-not-to-do-this-so-we-don't-get-sued-by-your-dumb-ass list".
That's one kind of wood that isn't meant for sawing.
I usually lay mine out on the board as a guide for straightness.
Wow, for once the news wasn't about some crazy russian bitch chopping it off...
or it geting Bitten off
But it still is so fucking hilarious! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
I missed the penis mutilation news!
god.. it hurts just from reading this Dx
Nightmare fuel ^^;;
Hey, he did saw his wood.
Unleaded.
Someone had bad karma.
At least this time it wasn't out of revenge or grief or anything. It was a pure accident. That's why I'm not weirded-out by this article.
But he was just doing his job...sawing wood. XD
he must have forgotten to wear his apron ;)
moral of the story : all carpenters should be female.
not jhonnys? D:>
you know north, i'm right there with you on this one...
i work in a hardware store, and while i'm not sure of the percentage of customers that i have that have cut off their own dicks, i have noticed a rather high rate of people missing half of their fingers, some a whole hand, that come into the shop all the time...
u gotta understand people with monster cock can't hide their cock...
how can this be an accident? was he not wearing pants? sawing off a limb or other extremities i can understand.. but sawing off your own prick? i find that being an accident highly improbable, being that he should be wearing pants and how can you saw your own prick unless you position your groin directly under the saw
Nothing unusual, this happens all the time.
lol what a dork xD hahahahahah ajhahaha XD
owww that is a failure!!1 LIOOOOOOL
Been missing the old good articles about penises no anyone? xD
Yea, i missed them so much that i hardly eat anything for 10 minutes..
I missed them a lot. It's a great way to start the day off!
It's a nightmare.
ALL HAIL BRITANNIA!!!!
Wut?
All HALL... W8 WUT!!!??¡
It is his job to saw wood, after all.
Sure I happened to me too.It happens to everyone.Nothing to be embarrassed about.
well mines a handy dandy meter long ruler if ever i misplace the conventional ones...
The logistics intrigue me... And not in a good way
He got wood.
Ooooohhhhh...
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay...
http://orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/lumbsong.htm
According to his mother, he might have sawed it off a couple of times before? o.o!
That guy must be a reptile.. or Yakumo from 3x3 Eyes..
Mmmm... Sawyer goodness... Thanks for the pic...
I am completely ignoring the subject of the post...
MEASURE TWICE, CUT ONCE. IS THAT SO HARD?
I have heard that it is common for carpenters to saw off their fingers but this is unheard of...
Well if you think about it if your penis had a nail it'll would be a finger right?So it makes some sense XD
I can't shake the haunting mental image of a penis with a penis-nail now. D8
"So I was doing stretches in the nude when I accidently brutally ripped my own penis off with a saw."
Yeah sure, "it happens all the time", I lol'd
And I just have to read this after getting my head cut off in Resident Evil 5 by that chainsaw guy.
Two ways to avoid this accident is to wear pants and not achieve a boner.
Great skills, bro.
Standards are slipping again.
CITY.
COUNTRY.
FIX IT.
It seems that Artefact has finally desensitized the world at least concerning penis mutilation. I can already see a future where regular genital misfortune is a rite of passage, not just some bizarre news story to be posted. It is coming and you're seeing it here first.
i don't get how you saw off your penis while sawing unless you have it hanging out while you're doing what you do.
Carpenters must be very careless than..