Why Won’t Women Kiss on a First Date?
- Categories: Japan, News
- Date: Jul 5, 2009 08:04 JST
- Tags: Dating, Fashion, Internet, Relationships, Statistics
A survey of whether Japanese women may feel inclined to decline a kiss on a first date reveals some coy feminine tactics at play, with the most common response, “try to modestly refuse him once” perhaps being a near universal female stratagem…
The survey itself posed the question “how would you respond if a guy tried to kiss you on a first date?” to NicoNico Douga’s large and youthful female population in a popular women’s programme aired regularly on the site. In 200 seconds some 18,000 responses were gathered, and the results are instructive.
The most common response, with 46.3% of the vote, was “try modestly refusing him once,” demonstrating perhaps that these ladies are less interested in effete and unassertive males than they are sometimes portrayed as being.
After this came the more submissive “meekly let him” with 31.6%, although it should probably be thought that the question presupposes the woman wants the man to kiss her in the first place.
The dread “refuse him” comes in with only 19%, indicating perhaps that fast movement may not go unrewarded.
Interpreting these results is of course a minefield unto itself; the editor of a male dating support site gives his interpretation: “The woman wants to test whether the man is really serious, and she is concerned about being thought an ‘easy’ girl,” which does indeed sound a universal female tactic.
However, where Japan is concerned there seems to be a more fundamental issue: are these assertive men, ready to press for a kiss, even that common anymore? The editor once more sheds some light on this:
“The impression I get from managing this site is that men are becoming more and more cowardly about romance.
They worry a great deal about what to do if they are turned down, and whether they can ever manage a romance a second time.
In these cases it really is important to act assertively, it’s not like you’ll die if you are rejected. Rather than thinking it’s hopeless and being frightened, it is a case of acting.”
Via J-Cast.
There seems to be some contradiction between the manliness desired by women and the effete manners and apparel they apparently prize, though it seems most are unanimous in considering one factor before anything else…
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So Japanese women want rich romantic men. Universal concept in my mind...
Seems like so.... well atleast their not sluts.
Well, it's all modesty ^^; Why teh duck you even tried to kiss to a girl in your FIRST date anyway? ^^;;
Because i'm a horny bastard XD
+2
Because it is just a kiss. It is common on a first date. They are not talking about tonguing their asshole while masturbating.
Are you refering to something called "rusty trombone" ?
more like salad tossing i think
Iunno what's worse. The fact that I know what you're talking about Rob, or the fact that it made me laugh.
lol I don't understand this denie the first time thing.. It's like "no I won't kiss you." Then you ask "can I kiss you now?" a second later and they are down with it.
Lol that worked for me. At the end of a blind date I asked "How bout a kiss?" and it seemed like she reacted negatively so I waited like 3 seconds turned back and jokingly asked "Ok, so how about now?" without really expecting anything but a laugh. She did laugh and did agree to it. :3
Oh nice, gotta remember that one. :D
Can't relate to that. My ex-girlfriend is the one that kissed me first, and it was me who's shocked...
can you not kiss, and not not kiss?
Give her a rose, a thousand dollars, tell her she's the most special girl in all universe and get your kiss. LOL!
Or ask her: Would you like to kiss me?
That would never work
if she will say no than say "i don't said you can"
+2
Ugh. "would you like to kiss me" = Lame, old PUA material that sucks balls. Also sounds socially robotic/weird.
Get up to date, friend! Kissing is much more natural and should be something that gets lead up to smoothly... but be my guest and use that old phrase, I've never used it and been just fine...
is being kissed suddenly natural??
just go ahead and do it, but make sure she knows its coming so you don't miss and awkwardly kiss her nose :\
Just the thousand dollars will do.
Thousands of euros would sound better.
Reap is more effective.
dollars? euros? fuck that and ship her some Gold muthafuckin bars baby.
lolol.
guys were talking about japan here thousand yen will do the trick
That's cheap! LOL
1000￥ = $10
1000 yen is quite cheap...
Most guys are pussy asses these days. Which is great. Because then its easier to stand out when you actually know what you're doing.
pussy ass kinda sounds like the best of both worlds
Its everywhere the same, no money = no girl / kiss / whatsoever, i saw that method when my brother had his 3 GFs over the years...
Girls are too complex today.. how sad.
money - it is a key to buy everything but happiness, it is a passport everywhere except heaven..
just read it from somewhere and that is not the exact thing.
it is a password to go everywhere except heaven. sorry for the typo
Universally, all women want to be swept off their feet.
Why even bother with kiss on first date? If you play your cards right, you can be borking her soon anyway.
dsf
Even though those tatics are less than effective.
They should try fingering instead of kissing on the first date
Sadly, nobody thought to ask them.
They never do.
Sigh....
Sigh....
Why not?
Well two of my acquaintances have somehow managed to do that...
I have been rejected so many times I quit trying. I couldn't even read this article without finding myself screaming the words as I read them at times uncontrollably. Maybe I'm fucked up
Yes. Yes, you are.
FAIL?
Agreeing with yourself Anonymous.
Aren't the results of the Human Instrumentality Project simply marvelous?
rejected of what
"Just do what you think is right" is the only advice you need, if you're too pussey just stick to the 2D. Great pic btw.
+9
x1000
What the hell...+1
=9001! IT'S OVER 9000!
LOL
I'm not that aggressive in terms of kissing on the first date.
Kissing leads to Bukkake!
I guess it's like poker. If you act strong even if you've got a bad hand, you just might get to poke 'er anyway.
lol
"poke her" - (ﾉ¯ ﾛ ¯;;)ノ
Having sex on a first date? muteKi, you're my new hero/idol/whatnot! (´∀`)
I see what you did thar.
I'd only offer the kiss if the date went well. That's a rule of thumb I say.
Well put, muteKi! There's no asking involved. Just do it.
youre the man
your the best lol..
your the best lol?
Unanimous. It's 'unanimous'.
:o
Well I've never kissed anyone and im pritty sure I'll die virgin and never have kissed anyone.
THIS
VIRGIN
IS
RIGHT
AND
SOMETHING
PINEAPPLE-IE
NOT
BUT HE WILL NEVER SAY NO TO 2D GIRLS
AND 2D GIRLS DON'T REFUSE
BECAUSE NO MEANS YES
SPARTAAAA
RONERYYYY
I WANT CAKE TOO
TEH CAEK IS A LIE!
AND SOME WORDS TOO
THAT WILL MAKE LOVE WITH 2D GIRL EVEN MORE
IRRESISTIBLE <33
LIKE DELICIOUS CAKE
SO WE NEED MOAR CAKE
DELICIOUS
C-C-C-Oh nvm.
OH DEAR GOD...
3D BITCHES ARE REALLY
BITCHES AND WHORES
ALSO ADACHI
Pay a cheap whore. Kill your virginity.
what about sex on the first date?
SURVEY!
With ronery otaku it's usually a no-win,no-win situation; If you don't push the situation they become bored of you and move on, if you're too pushy they see you as too aggressive and move on...
Kiss on the first date, no need for it. After a few dates I would expect it. Now how long do you wait for sex? (longest I have gone was 3 weeks)
Over a year.
According to these surveys it seems that im the perfect male for japanese women I even fit all the emotional and physical traits sadly I wasn't born or am anywhere near Japan (T_T)
A womaniser.. Amen
Move or take a trip to Japan~ XD If you're too lazy to or don't have that kind of money, you're probably not as much of a match for Japanese women as you think you are.
well I gotta wait till I finish college kim-kim
Oh look, more people who hate feminine men and manly women.
Only more reason to be gay.
And I'm supposed to hate feminists. At least they want women to be manly and not care about this crap. Like this crap is any better. I'll take the assertive dyke woman anyday.
WTB BUDDING AS NEW REPRODUCTION SYSTEM
sex or kiss? w/c is much more preferred? :/
Both if you can.
most people kiss during sex
blasphemy and lies
I'm an old fashioned romantic. I only believe in kissing someone I truly care about; it's a special thing to me that involves a lot of trust and affection and bonding. Sex even more so. I'll save it for that right girl any day of the week. You really can't just expect me to slobber all over her. Romance should mean something.
Couldn't have said it better my self
I agree with you, I'm also someone who WANTS to believe that kisses and sex are special. Too many guys focusing on getting what THEY want from a girl (kiss, sex etc) than being in a serious relationship with her thesedays- if girl not willing spread legs for guy, guy move on. It's almost like the guys want to be with as many different girls as possible instead of finding the right girl to settle down with.
Sure it would probably takes lots datings before meeting the right girl, however if a guy dated a girl and realise she is not the person he wants to be with, then he should act resposibly and not take advantage of the situation to kiss or have sex with her.
Unfortunately kisses and sex seem cheap these days to the majority, and it's something that they can easily do with others, even if it's someone who they barely know- to them, as long as the person they are doing it with is good looking enough it would be fine.
Seriously, kisses and sex have devalued greatly due the change in the moral attitude...may be in 30 years time, people would do it as common as eating a bag of crisp or drink a can of coke =__=
Have you ever even CONSIDERED that women ENJOY SEX TOO?!? Or that not everyone wants a serious relationship, whether male or female?
Seriously man, there's a reality out here, come join it.
As a side note, if you truly believe men were never supposed to regularly have sex, I'd recommend you stop the fapping (or shall we call it the hypocrisy).
i would imagine alot more people feel this way then the internet will allow.
Geez, Women are so confused about what they want these days. =D
They shouldn't be concerned about what they want but what men want. =D =D =D= =D =D =D
Men all want the same thing, though. There's no thought needed.
we just want LUVS <333 and CUDDLIES
I've always been aggressive on most of my dates but sometimes I also have to feel the mood and the situation. Some girls lets some girls don't.
Source on picture?
Ahhh hell, i will never understand relationships/women in general.
They dont wanna kiss, but they want money, you try to hard, they become bored of you, you dont do shit, they leave you.
People just need to be more honest with there feelings, if you like the guy just kiss him ffs, he wont think you are a slut or easy girl, unless the guy is a complete ass or his only objective is to sleep with you and he will use other tactics go get the beloved prize.
Forget about those women and come have gay sex with me.
Good move Anonymous! XD
All this for dopamine a chemical manifestation in the brain, in reality love or romance outside of the conscience mind of organisms capable of such are chimerical.
lol @ sycamore....
And men want hot women with a nice boody and titz that cooks and do laundry and don't yap.
Universal concept in my mind...ROFL
allow me to state that many ppl on this site might prefer dfc's who r clumsy n moe
From all these surveys it doesn't seem too hard to get a japanese girl to like you. I guess japanese men just lack the traits that japanese women want. I would love to see how far I could get with a japanese woman if I ever visited japan. Maybe if I'm lucky I could end up with a harem.
BE MANLY LIKE KAMINA!
I don't think anyone is *that* manly.
It's a noble goal nonetheless :P
oh yeah... thanks for reminding me... there's kissing involve in sex... how stupid can I be... ¬_¬ sh** arghh!! junta momonari, argh! XD XD XD
This is an associate of the feminist justice organization, Equality Now. I find this story incredibly demeaning to all womankind. Please delete this article and all "gallery" items immediately!
We of the superior women race hate you 'otakus' and your rape simulators!
Vice President of The Organization for Equal Women - Equality Now,
Barbara C. Oldbag
ahahahahhahahhah
Well, I'm a woman and I have never kissed on first date. Though you could say I've once kissed without dating, but he had been a lifelong childhood friend, so it isn't quite the same thing.
I wouldn't like it if a guy/girl tried to kiss me on first date either, I think it would mean that we have different values for relationships. Myself, over at least the first few weeks, I just want to get to know the person I'm dating with without making any significant progress in the physical part of the affair. I'd regret it if I kissed a person I ended up hating. Or got herpes simplex, lol.
*I’ve once kissed without dating*
SLUT!
Would you have the the same opinion if a guy did the same thing? That would be unfair.
MAN WHORE!
"A guy OR a GIRL"? You mean you're bisexual right?
No problem at all!
Like it really matters. [insert rolling eyes smiley] You probably are bisexual too, but are just too scared to admit it.
Memo to self, "No means no" is BULLSHIT.
their body is always honest
Reason #2,648,393 most posters here are still virgins.
What's with the terrible Engrish on this article?
Go back to 2ch.
You might be surprised at how quickly women will throw out "logical thinking" and social pressures when they're REALLY INTO a guy. If you can develop your confidence and learn to be who you truly are (not some nervous, ass-kissing pussy), it becomes easy to trigger powerful feelings in a woman.
That's speaking in general when it comes to dating and sex. If you want to actually be in a relationship with a high-quality lady, you should at least have a job.
Bums are not boyfriend material.
In the old days when i was an uncontrollable horny teenager i would really suck at this shit.
Now i don't try anything except asking for another date. The fact that she's willing to go out again with out finding excuses to avoid me after the first date means that she has some interest in me. And since am not some horny teenager anymore i keep dating her with out even trying even a single kiss.Usually by the third date she will start going crazy with thoughts like "Am i not attractive enough? Doesn't he like me that way? OMG what if he wants to be just friends. Could he be gay? No, he doesn't seem to be.Maybe his shy. Should i ask him or try to make the first move?"
And there you are my friends, while you are in piece with out wondering what would happen if you tried to kiss her and how you will get her to bed and all that, she will simply be going crazy and she will give you anything you want in no time after that while you will have the upper hand of letting her appearing like she's the horny one. Just be a little patient.
The only thing I'm kissing is my wallet goodbye on my first date
this is japanese we're talking about, they're known to be modest when it comes to showing affection. western society just don't have this kind of problem (well not as much)
bottom line, they're too shy!
Well I'm not surprised by the effeminate thing. In a big piece of western(ised) society men are taught from a very young age to treat women extremely carefully, like handling a priceless vase. So unless it's made extremly clear by a woman they want to be kissed a lot of men will act very cautiously.
That and in certain parts of the US an unwanted kiss/advancement will land you in jail, it's not weird men are more cautious :P
Men should be taught that is ok to be rejected, that it's ok to chase multiple women, that it's ok to experiment instead of the highly romantized image of love that corrupts a big piece of modern society.
I kissed my 1st girl friend on my first date.
Well heck, we care about their feelings by not wanting to mouth-rape them and get punished. This is the kind of thing that sends mixed signals.