What Japanese Men Hate on a Date
- Categories: Japan, News
- Date: Jun 21, 2009 09:39 JST
- Tags: Dating, Feminism, Rankings, Relationships, Statistics
A survey of what sort of behaviour Japanese men find most intolerable from their female companions whilst on a date presents some interesting, if not entirely unexpected, findings.
The results of the online survey, with men being asked to rate what behaviour from a woman they find most likely to ruin a date:
1. Expect to be treated as a matter of course.
2. Take a haughty attitude to waiters.
3. Do nothing but check for mail.
4. Get unhappy just because it is crowded.
5. Want to do something else.
6. Keep looking at other members of the opposite sex.
7. Complain about being tired or having sore feet.
8. Make a racket with ringtone after ringtone.
9. Take the attitude that a treat was a right.
10. Make no effort to make conversation.
These of course seem quite universal concerns, just as was the case with the surefire ways of provoking a Japanese woman’s ire…
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most of those are just plain rude ><
But the sore feet, is a bit insensitive of the guy; if your partner tries to dress up a bit and wears heels that she isn't used to her feet will hurt -.- that's nothing to get pissed over.
That's a chance for a little skinship imo.
I don't see a problem with complaining about sore feet if you're walking a lot, but they may just be because my girlfriend's feet tend to hurt to the point she can't even stand on them sometimes..
But the rest, I hate those, too. It's really disrespectful when someone does that shit on a date.
1.Thats like every male its about respect.
2.I don't want to suffer embarrassment in a restrant I do understand that the waiters are just doing there job.
3.I don't have a issue with that unless its for buisness not soical.
4.Enochlophobia I met a woman like that before take her to a place less crowed.
5.Oh boy...that one is tough one to do.
6.I guess it doesn't show interest with me.
7.It happen while walking ether in high heels thats what taking brakes are for.
8.If you play "My little pony" theme song on your ring tone I am going to be laughing my ass off.
9.Oh if you start demanding or disrespecting me the date is over.
10. Its kind of hard to bring up a good subject of conversation to talk about sometimes I wonder what Japanese men would talk about to a Female?
Lol, I know a girl who fits perfectly in this list.
most are reasonable.. and on the treating... if i ask them out, I pay, if they ask me out.. they pay. 2nd 3rd date.. usually pay for yourself, or sometimes i treat if i have the money, and there worth it. goes with anything on the date.. if we go see a movie.. i pay, dinner, put put golf, etc. :)
If a girl is constantly screwing around with her cellphone it's the wrong kind of girl you're dating.
4, 5, and 7 seem fairly harmless provided they aren't excessive.
2, 8 don't get a callback.
3, 6, 10 don't get a callback and they're definitely paying for every penny of their own expenses.
1. Expect to be treated as a matter of course.
of course a guy would get mad at this. you're going on a date with me as much as i'm going on a date with you.
2. Take a haughty attitude to waiters.
well that's just rude.
3. Do nothing but check for mail.
rude again. why don't you go on a date with your cell phone instead?
4. Get unhappy just because it is crowded.
i'm fine with chilling in a park if you want to.
5. Want to do something else.
ok, think of something else.
6. Keep looking at other members of the opposite sex.
hey, if you don't mind me checking out other chicks and maybe getting a number or two, then we're cool. otherwise, we own each other for the duration of our date.
7. Complain about being tired or having sore feet.
ok, no big deal, let's sit down.
8. Make a racket with ringtone after ringtone.
silent plz. and by "plz" i mean "now".
9. Take the attitude that a treat was a right.
hahahahaha.
on a side note, once i told a japanese girl off about doing this with her bf and actually convinced her that she was being a bad person XD
10. Make no effort to make conversation.
mmmkay i'm gonna go call up someone else who actually wants to go on this date.
4. Get unhappy just because it is crowded.
WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PROBLEM WITH THIS.
Women can get either defensive, or highly self-concious around large groups of people. Despite being a woman myself and knowing that, I don't necessarily care if a place is crowded or not. Would it even matter if the grocery store was crowded or empty? You still shop at the same speed, same for the check-out line. Generally, if it's busy that day, more lines are opened.
I would agree with everything but “Want to do something else.” And “Complain about being tired or having sore feet.” Because last week I went out with my BF and I told him I’m bored and tired especially because I just got off of work and he just drag me all over SF just to go shopping for sun glasses and window shopping. I told him I’m bored and he got piss off and said he wants to go home and drag my arm and said I don’t tell him anything. I told him that what he wanted to do I went along with it but when I’m interested in something he just drag me always. And when I said “I’m bored” he just throws a bitch fit. Of course I would be bored we been looking at nothing but men clothes and men sun glasses and the whole time I wanted to sit down and didn’t get a chance. I even told him I was hungry and he told me lets wait half and hour so he could shop some more. I told him everything and he still complains that I don’t say anything so I just walk off and he just follow me. He kept asking where we are going and I didn’t respond and just kept walking but he try to drag me again and I just kept going until I hit a Japanese tea cake shop that was recently open. I always wanted to go there but never got a chance and I told my BF about it. So he bought me something there and we made up. Afterward he kept trying to buy me expensive clothes just to make up some more and I just say no because it’s a waste of money especially since I don’t need it or want it. I’m not a materialistic girl I just want to be respected, and if your partner is bored or complain about being tired you should try to understand why. I understand why my BF act the way he did because he is just like the many Asian men who grew up in male dominance society and just want the woman to do what they want. Women get sore feet because the men drag them everywhere and a lot of woman wear high heels.
Honoko, that's your own fault. Instead of complaining that you're bored or tired, TELL him what you want. Men are not mind-readers anymore than girls are or would like men to be.
If you say you're bored and he acknowledges, ok you're bored, so what? What? WHAT! He may be keen enough to ask what you want to do, or where you want to go, but in my experience girls often don't have a bloody answer anyways, even if keen so far as to have suggestions. You shouldn't expect him to have an answer for entertaining you.
Preach it brother Anon!
We men are stupid creatures. We can't infer millions of iota of information from a single glance. We aren't Edward from Twilight. And he still sucks at it with over a hundred years to practice! There's your hint: if a guy needs over 36500 days of solid training to learn something, he isn't going to learn it.
/Tell us/. Tell us what you /want/. Directly. Any man will bend over freaking backwards for a woman they can understand, who speaks "English", not only "girl". (Or Japanese, insert "real" language of choice). Not many girls speak Lojban or Hymmnos, completely unambiguous and "easy to identify reason" languages.
Signs like this mean its time to bail out LOL!
tell her you're going to the bathroom and run lol
9. Take the attitude that a treat was a right.
This applies to chinese girls pretty well.
Chinese mens are machos, but girls are generally worse.
I know few exceptions to that fact.
lol
Each of my dates consisted 200% of this. :)
And I was dumped 7 times.
lol
And I never even thought something was wrong and could be in any other way. xDDD
Mel Kano~~!! Kyaha~~!!
Seems very true towards international standards. Especially the I want to do something else part...
Seems like Japanese men are almost like ordinary women when it comes to dates.
Tsk, be happy that they had one. It seems harder nowadays just because of people expecting too much on the first moments.
4. Get unhappy just because it is crowded.
THIS. It's the most inane of complains, and it nags the shit out of me. "THERE'S MORE THAN TWO PEOPLE IN HERE IT'S TOO CROWDED NOW I'LL BE IN A MAD MOOD FOR AN HOUR"
And she doesn't even say it in some tsundere voice.
1. Expect to be treated as a matter of course.
lol no. I heard the funniest date story on that matter. The guy went out for dinner with a woman for their first date and all, and mind you they were at a not so cheap restaurant. The dude never said he would and he did a prank on her by going to the toilet for an extended period of time when the bill was coming whilst having said to the waiter that he'd pay his part only. I think he never got back with that woman lol.
no 6 should be put at first
Checking email constantly is very annoying...
It's very disrespectful more than anything else. If you go on a date is because you're trying to get the other person to know you more (and consequently to like you), not to ignore them in favour of some text messages.
Heh actually the only time I have dated a Japanese girl was something like this...
For me it's don't talk about your friend's lives or hobbies, talk about what YOU like.
2. and 3. are real turnoffs for me. I hate anyone being classist in public, or not paying attention. Fortunately, on my (few and scant) dates so far, 2. has never happened; and 3. has happened on occasion, but she always apologizes and sets to silent mode.
It's all true!!! It's supposed to be a date! Do your best to be a good partner, and we'll do the same dammit >_<
That list is missing a few things.
Agreed.
Like spending too much time walking around.
Got dragged around until 6am, just because she was too scared to go home after a late night horror movie.
Er, even if there's no horror movie, if it's late at night, then escort her home you should. It's called common courtesy.
The "to go home" bit suggests it's about home-escorting, though.
I didn't escort her home, I just accompanied her through the night until the morning buses were available. Of course, we just walked around the outside of a mall, talking and such.
I didn't want to escort her home, due to the fact that my house was in the opposite direction of hers.
AND, she's not my girlfriend. Just a good friend of mine who invited me to watch a movie with her. Of course, she forgot that the movie was a horror movie and wanted to watch a 2am show.
drag you until 6 am != escorted home
forcing you to walk around in the night when you may have something else to do the next day is a pain in the ass.
Lame! you totally missed out on a flag moment
#10 has always been a pet peeve for me
I at least like to have a little conversation before I break out the Rufi.
"Take the attitude that a treat was a right."
LOL What's the meaning of this sentence?
Think "right" should be "rite."
"Take the attitude that a treat is a rite." Would mean that they always expect to be treated.
Or, it could be "right", which means that they feel entitled to be treated.
say, you pay for her dinner, and then she complains about how the food was shitty and that you should have treated her at some other place.
free dessert, maybe?
the dessert in my pants, yea
Probably means being treated to dinner or something. Well, it makes sense anyway. Sort of taking it from 1, though.
They think they have a right to get a treat.
oh, I have a treat alright.
Treat a right I'll get.
that she has to have extra stuff done for her and that its your job as a man to buy her things
Girls always complain about sore feet when invited for a walk. What a pain.
that means youre boring and she doesnt want to be with for ten minutes
Obviously, since they date me, and not the contrary, I don't think it's the case.
Give her some painkillers.
though if theyre wearing like 6 inch heels or stilletos, ill accomadate that =).
"i like long walks on a sandy beach, but i also don't like sore feet"
idk, I like moe ringtones >:
And don't pisses you off, if you're being ignored?
Also, I think theese are not only true to the japanese men, but the men form any nation...
Second to that!!
Its like she doesnt care about the date, becouse she is only checing her email....
if they ignore you on the date then they probably just expect a free meal.
+1
Totally true
maybe try being more interesting.... or atleast be cute... there are reason they would ignore u
Not really.
If anything, i'd probably say 'Hey I know that song' or something else.
The date isn't going so good if any of that is happening anyways so it should be more like "ten signs on how to know if you're not going to get laid tonight"
It is official deviryuu cannot take the hint.
agree, just went on a date the other day, she kept getting txt from her friend. i can tolerate the curiosity of how its going but no in large amounts.
The only thing I do is complain that it's crowded...who the hell complain's that they have sore feet on a date?
And expecting your dinner to be paid for is sexism in my opinion...I always pay half. :]
Women seeking foot fetishists would definitely complain about sore feet. If the guy offers to massage her feet right there and then, she's hit jackpot.
dude i read this comment some time ago n tried it on a friend... man it worked wonders!!
i had to like search tis site to find this comment!!!
THX mate !!
+1
Just like with number 9, as long as you don't EXPECT me to pay for the whole meal, I will gladly call it your treat. As soon as I'm assumed to be paying by default, I get annoyed.
Personally, most of those are valid complaints.
I find most of these unreasonable:
1. Expect to be treated as a matter of course.
Well you asked them out, when they ask you out you can expect to be treated.
2. Take a haughty attitude to waiters.
Reasonable.
3. Do nothing but check for mail.
Somewhat reasonable, but maybe they are worried about it, make it a point in conversation. If you feel she is ignoring you ask her questions, if she answers right it means she is paying attention to you.
4. Get unhappy just because it is crowded.
Unreasonable, just get the fuck out of there.
5. Want to do something else.
Unreasonable, just go do something else.
6. Keep looking at other members of the opposite sex.
Unreasonable unless she doesn't let you do the same.
7. Complain about being tired or having sore feet.
Unreasonable she is tired, just carry her in your back to the nearest love hotel.
8. Make a racket with ringtone after ringtone.
Unreasonable, just play with her on the damn phone until you reach the love hotel.
9. Take the attitude that a treat was a right.
Same as #1.
10. Make no effort to make conversation.
Give me a break, do you really want a chatty girlfriend? I can understand if you want someone to talk to, you want to be talked at? A girl is not forced to make conversation unless you count moaning as conversation.
actually i enjoy spending money girls, i dont mind spending it its more of the attitude of my date which is my main concern. ive actually spend a few hundred on average showing girls with gifts while out shopping. i even bought a girl a $700 puppy once only on the first date
I like spending money girls too!
...... how handsome are you???....... or just but ugly.. ???
Why!? Jesus Christ.
I hardly ever spend more than twenty U.S. dollars on first dates or even THE FIRST SEVERAL dates. Despite that, my first dates usually end at her place. ;-)
You seem to enjoy doing this though, for some reason. So okay, I guess?
20 bucks? How'd... What... And end at her place?! Darn. you Sir, are a genius. I can't even manage that on the third date. Too slow? Heh.
Can I date you?
what happens when you don't buy them something? you don't get any action?
Yes, may I date you as well?
He's dating Ichiroko now
you shouldnt be proud about that.
I think you have some personal issues with security.
or absolutely no issues with finance, amirite?
bullshit
Well, it is possible to buy a woman's love, so if that's his angle, more power to him, I guess.
very true though...
very sad
He's just a victim of immature I think. =)
You can't buy a woman's love, you can only buy her company. If you manage to buy her fake love and she says: "I love you" every time you shower her with gifts or says: "I'll love you even more" just because she wants to get something out of you it'll only be because she is a gold digger.
During my last research project I went and asked 50 males and 50 females 20 questions about what attracted them the most of the opposite sex. One of the questions that I asked my female participants was:
Are you more attracted to a male if he possesses the following qualities: looks, money, intelligence, personality, character, status, and prestige?
The result:
30% are more attracted to a male with those qualities
70% are not attracted to a male with those qualities
Lmfao, Intro to Anthro/Socio/Psych right? I had to do a similar project.
Actually it was neither of those it was a research/writing class. I also asked the male participants the same question:
Do you believe to get a girl you need to have either: looks, money, intelligence, personality, character, status, and prestige?
The result:
75% believe what is said
25% don’t believe what is said
The conclusion is that most males believe this because we have the need to provide for a female. It's like an instinct even if the female partner doesn't say it we will do it even if there is no need for it.
Are your research results available for download? I'm interested in reading your report.
Thanks for the interest but I'm sorry as my results are not available for public distribution.
Sorry, but your question ...
"Are you more attracted to a male if he possesses the following qualities: looks, money, intelligence, personality, character, status, and prestige?" is too hard for females.
First you must ask: are you stupid? and then ask your "last" question.
Because if woman dont like: intelligence, personality and character... she is a whore, if woman dont like: looks, money, status, and prestige she is romantic... but "if" she dont like all this things she is stupid or 2D character...
Thanks for the interest but I apologize as my results are not available for download.
LOL, actually the following question was:
Are you more attracted to a guy if he is confident and ambitious?
The result:
95% said they are more attracted
5% said they don’t care
Keep in mind that my research was based on attraction.
Was the next question "how many of you are lying?"
You just opened up a can of worms, my friend.
Also, I too would like to date you.
Crap, complains*
And usually it's men from my experience that have an attitude towards waiters...it's a huge turn-off for me and I'm sure for men too.
#10 for me... fk man just talk its that simple