Akira Saved From Hollywood’s Clutches

akira-apocalypse.jpg

Anime fans dreading the rapacious assault of Hollywood upon the classic anime now in their crosshairs can breathe a sigh of relief with the news that the live action adaptation of classic science fiction tentacle anime Akira is “dead as a doornail.”

The new movie, to have been produced by some of the usual suspects, Leonardio DiCaprio’s Appian Way and Warner Brothers, was to have been split in two parts by a green director nobody has ever heard of.

It took typically Hollywood-esque liberties with the setting and story: rather than being a futuristic biker gang story set in Neo-Tokyo, the movie was to have been a Hollywood star vehicle set in “New Manhattan” (which in a tangential connection to the events of the anime “was built with Japanese money”), and doubtless would have featured a racing tournament centred on multidimensional alien artefacts or something similar…

Via Cinema Today.

Now terrified anime fans can instead affix their frantic gaze on future adaptations of Ghost in the Shell, Death Note and Ninja Scroll, amongst other classics due to receive the Hollywood touch…


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    Avatar of Icy-nee-san
    Comment by Icy-nee-san
    09:03 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    FUCK YA! AKIRA!

    Avatar of Kamigod
    Comment by kami
    10:26 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    plz save Ghost inthe Shell too...plz

    Avatar of dothacknet
    Comment by ragaraga
    09:47 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    thats good hollywood stay away from anime please you haven't done anything thing to it.

    Avatar of VZ
    Comment by VZ
    09:42 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Wow! Aliens huh.

    Yeah, they would do that since I guess a plot about motorcycle gangs and psychics wasn't enough.

    Believe or not, I was actually looking forward to this. Looking forward to how horrible it would have been.

    I guess DBE really did kill the notion of "live action anime."

    Comment by shalala
    05:54 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I will only allow hollywood to have death note if they have samuel l jackson as L

    Comment by Some Anonymous
    05:57 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Target is safe now. Mission Succesful.

    The only word I have to say here is that any of those otaku-freakazoids out there could do better movies from anime than Holliwood. With no offense, of course.

    One thing that I was always saying to my bro is that a FMP movie would be hard to turn into something human eyes must not see. But now I remember that they're Hollywood. How is it possible when they can do movies like Star Wars, The Matrix and so?

    Comment by Zacharov
    07:37 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Because they keep watering down EVERY story. Attempt squeezing episodes of well-written story into a two or three hour movie. Or make it a trilogy. Now added with Hollywood trying to cater to wider tastes and cut down parts of story here and there. It's going to be a watered down version that has hardly any depth to it beyond 'nice CGs'.

    Did you notice that Star Wars and The Matrix are originals? That's why they were good. Adaptations usually suck. Take a look at Harry Potter. Noticed just how much was content was cut? How about Lord of the Rings? The Tom Bombadil story was also cut. And The Ring Hollywood adaptation. Bits and pieces were missing.

    You have way too much faith in Hollywood. If you want to watch Hollywood movies, make sure you are watching original movies, not some stinking adaptation. Not that they are producing originals nowadays.

    Comment by Osirus
    06:01 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    What happened to the dude's girlfriend when she got trapped inside his body?

    Avatar of RiderFan
    Comment by RiderFan
    08:52 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    *Squash* That's what happened.

    Avatar of Celestz
    Comment by Celestz
    21:46 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    +1 For Japan, -1 For Hollywood.

    Avatar of metatron
    Comment by metatron
    20:44 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    *sigh of relief*

    but still...FUCK YOU HOLLYWOOD!!!

    Avatar of misterchef
    Comment by Riot Gear
    19:10 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    if they want a live-action Ninja Scroll,they've should've hired Takashi Miike.

    Comment by Anonymous125
    23:03 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Finally an anime saved from the evil clutches of Hollywood and its hypocrites that hates lolicon and sexy anime girls but makes movies with b!+ches on it.

    Hollywood should just stick on making live action movies of their own comics not making a corrupted live-action version of an anime show (and even horror movies made from Asia as Hollywood version are not as "thrilling" as the Asian version particularly the Japanese horror movies).

    I would be damned pissed off at Hollywood if they make a Hollywood version of the anime SHUFFLE!

    Comment by Vicious
    23:57 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    the movie was to have been a Hollywood star vehicle set in “New Manhattan” (which in a tangential connection to the events of the anime “was built with Japanese money”), and doubtless would have featured a racing tournament centred on multidimensional alien artefacts or something similar…

    WTF!! Manhattan? Vehicle instead of bikes? Alien Artefact?
    This is NOT Akira, I'm glad its off

    Comment by hALOTOO
    19:32 21/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Never liked Akira so don't care, but I am a scuker for a superheroes movies.I would like to see a berserk movie with sparten 300 feel.

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:59 19/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I bet the team of Ring (original, not the US shit) could make a great Akira movie given enough money.

    BTW, I'd love to see a GitS movie directed by John Woo.

    Avatar of Y10NRDY
    Comment by Y10NRDY
    03:56 19/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    interesting choice of words... "the hollywood touch" must be a touch akin to brutal sexual molestation at the hands of the incredible hulk.

    Avatar of fishb0wl
    Comment by Blindeafmute
    13:41 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    son of a bitch
    i hope they dont touch
    gits

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:40 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Seems everyone but Hollywood agrees with you. They need to learn how to wrote a damn story.

    Other failed adaptations...
    Mary Shelly's Frankenstein (though really all versions)
    Bram Stoker's Dracula (look above)

    Both simple enough they could have been done without cutting chunks of story out. If they can't do stories in English correctly they need to stop taking foreign ones and making them "Americanized"

    Avatar of Dirty_Dingus008
    Comment by Forlourned
    11:30 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Any anime that is touched by hollyweird is doomed to corruption and decay before it even is premiered.

    Games too.

    Avatar of Reichi
    Comment by Kyo
    13:01 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Wow, didn't know that they were gonn'a make this. Either way, this is a relief.
    I just don't get why Hollywood wants to fuck up most of what made an anime's story and settings just for the sake of making it "closer to home".

    Avatar of aprilius20
    Comment by aprilius20
    14:56 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Gorgeous. Now to save GitS from Spielberg. Although I have to admit to being a little curious...

    Avatar of Shaawin
    Comment by Shaawin
    18:44 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    thank got for this. i bet if they did make american hollywood Akira it would look totally stupid and take place in the ghetto of L.A. and have suzukis, yamahas, and hondas instead of kickass concepts.

    Comment by sevensky
    15:02 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    GITS hollywoodized
    Jolie=Makoto
    Arnold=Batou

    Lord,save us.

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:54 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    You're doing it wrong.
    Makoto = Milla Jovovich
    Batou = Mikey Rourke

    Comment by Anon
    04:38 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    *Wipes sweat off the forehead.....reads further*

    ''Now terrified anime fans can instead affix their frantic gaze on future adaptations of Ghost in the Shell, Death Note and Ninja Scroll......''

    *ends up in a coma*

    Avatar of Doriinatrix
    Comment by Doriinatrix
    04:35 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hoorah for Akira! But for the other licenses, haven't they learned fucking up foreign properties is unprofitable?!

    Comment by knee-san
    02:31 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    and don't forget cowboy bebop, spike as Keanu Reeves..

    tandan dan..

    Avatar of Miroku74
    Comment by Miroku74
    02:34 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I would've included Cowboy Bebop, but it hasn't come out where I live yet.

    Comment by maniac
    03:45 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    keanu reeves as spike ... the other way arround you idiot
    or do you see a spike acting like a keanu reeves?!

    Comment by Some Anonymous
    05:48 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Oh... What do you think about Jack Sp... I mean Johnny Depp? I think he can do any paper XD

    Avatar of ordoshaman
    Comment by Waterfall Towers
    Avatar of Miroku74
    Comment by Miroku74
    02:29 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    They tried their hands at live action Double Dragon. It tanked.

    They tried doing Dragon Ball the Movie, and see how THAT turned out.

    Every anime-adaptation Hollywood has touched has turned to mold, pretty much. I wonder when they'll figure it all out and realize the Japanese do anime light years better than THEY do?

    Comment by LemonMango
    02:29 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    "classic science fiction tentacle anime"

    Tentacle? When were there tentacles in Akira?

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:16 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    The scene in the stadium maybe, when Tetsuo is mutating?

    Comment by LemonMango
    05:57 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I always thought of those as amorphous growths.

    Avatar of kingalekz
    Comment by kingalekz
    07:04 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    They could still do all those things, that tentacles normally do.

    Avatar of solace
    Comment by solace
    11:12 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    But did they? Admittedly, it's been a while since I watched Akira, but I don't seem to recall there being any significant tentacle content, either...

    Avatar of TC-man
    Comment by TC-man
    02:46 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hollywood can't even do their own (American) comic book heroes live-action adaptations well (X-men, the Silversurfer, the Fantastic Four, the Hulk, Spiderman, the Transformers etc. etc., all are poor adaptations)! So, do not touch and stay away from the manga classics. Hollywood do not have the heart to understand the core of the comicbooks (whehter it's Marvel or Daily Comics etc.) and especially the Japanese manga, let alone adapt them into good live-action movies.

    Although I want to see a "Twelve Kingdoms" (十二国記, Jūni Kokuki) live-action movie in (at least) "Lord of the Rings" quality or in "Hero" quality (yes, the martial art/(semi-)historical movie with Jet li, Tony Leung, Maggie Cheung, Donnie Yen etc.)

    Avatar of Shuu
    Comment by Shuu
    05:30 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Transformers was American originally?

    Avatar of TC-man
    Comment by TC-man
    06:00 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Yes, the Transformers comicbooks are made by Marvel Comics back in 1980s. The idea was brought up by Hasbro, an American Toymaker, when Hasbro went to Japan to import the Diaclone and Micro-change toys in the USA, which form the idea of the Transformers.

    Avatar of Shuu
    Comment by Shuu
    06:09 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Didn't know that... thanks!

    Avatar of otaku_dan
    Comment by Otaku Dan
    02:43 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    there is a god

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:49 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    There is probably no god.
    Now stop worring about Hollywood and Uwe Boll and enjoy your life.

    Comment by Steve Hester (UK)
    03:19 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    It's impossible to stop worrying about Uwe Boll, the guy scares the crap out of me.

    You realise that he keeps getting Films made due to some Tax Loophole that guarantees anyone who invests in his Films will get back whatever they paid regardless of it's Box Office.

    Avatar of kingalekz
    Comment by kingalekz
    07:10 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    They changed the laws a while back, so no more wasting of all my precious tax money.

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:57 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Still didn't stop Uwe Boll.

    Comment by rockbottom
    02:14 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hollywood needs to go after series with deep philosophical themes, like Strike Witches or Queen's Blade. A live action of those would be gold.

    Avatar of RiderFan
    Comment by RiderFan
    04:42 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    They would change the costumes. They would give all the girls jeans and there would be no pantsu in sight.

    The remake of Barbarella is set to out sometime in the next few years (you find the link between the two).

    Avatar of Dirty_Dingus008
    Comment by Forlourned
    11:27 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    She is the beauty of that game, above all else. I've got several doujishas worth of just her and also the game and it's sequel!

    Where is the sequel?!

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:33 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Loli does not exist in Hollywood

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:55 19/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Taxi Driver, anyone? Loli prostitute, even.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:24 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Dakota Fanning

    Avatar of solace
    Comment by solace
    11:10 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Doesn't she have a younger sister?

    Avatar of Gatsby
    Comment by maga
    04:17 18/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Loli no more.





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