Men Gang Rape Porcupine, Porcupine Rapes Back
- Categories: International, News
- Date: May 20, 2009 02:15 JST
- Tags: Alcohol, Animals, Bestiality, Florida, Penis Abuse, Rape, Russia, USA
A pair of men who sought to violate Florida’s longstanding and well founded law against sex with porcupines found themselves almost losing their manhoods when their victim took exception to their unwanted advances.
The pair of male Russian tourists (30 and 32) apparently sensed a challenge after reading a guidebook to some of the more bizarre and archaic Florida state laws. The express prohibition of sex with porcupines caught their attention in particular, and magnified through the bottom of a bottle of whiskey seemed an irresistible thrill.
Soon they were traipsing off into the countryside to find a porcupine to ravish. Soon they found one, and approached it for sex.
The next day the pair had sufficiently regained their senses to realize that their quill laced penises would need immediate medical attention. They boarded a plane to California, and checked into hospital as soon as they arrived.
There they were unsurprisingly diagnosed with “needles of a porcupine in genitals.”
Californian doctors dryly pointed out that things could be worse: “The most positive thing about the situation is that the Russian tourists did not have to stand trial in Florida. They left the state just in time.”
Although the pair kept their genitals relatively intact, painful inflammation meant extra treatment in Russia was necessary.
Via Pravda.
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Epic win for the porcupine. nobody rapes porcupine.
Сообщите об этом инциденте Задорнову - это наверняка он виноват.
In Soviet Russia.....
Penetrate the unpenetratable!
F*ck the unf*ckable!
Break the unbreakable!
RAWR RAWR
FUCK DA PORCUPINE
And end up with a Prince Albert. :P
Awesome the porcupine. *nyeeaow!*
I'm surprised news such as this hasn't been broad-cast on the local news. . Floridian here.
I think someone is making this up. No one would get quills in their junk and then spend hours on a flight to Cedars-Sinai medical center in LA to get it taken care of.
Anyone notice it's always people from Russia or China in the news?
Uhm.. We just had two articles on necrophilia from the US, with one chap killing a loli and doing her corpse and the other a guy killing his own mother and doing her corpse.
What the heck do you mean, it's always people from Russia or China?
"extra treatment in Russia was necessary"
Yeah, but they'd better hope it's not going to be treatment that comes from that crazy Russian hairstylist.
ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH!
Russian men + Whiskey = Awesome
Whiskey brings out the RUSSIAN IN YOU!
I'm in your America, rapeing your porcupines.
Russians are funny
Lol those Rooskies.
That's disgusting those guys should go to jail for doing that.
As long as they're not bothering anyone why should they?
Because they more than likely traumatized that poor little porcupine? :P
The hell are with the Russians recently?
I live in Florida and it was just recently that I heard of a law banning sex with animals in my city.
The pricks looking for a prick got their prick pricked.
The extra treatment required in Russia was probably just a re educational program that taught them how to properly hold their dicks while taking a whizz, so it doesn't leak out one of the new holes and hit them in the eye.
this story is most probably made up as it is. it was published on some russian sites first, then on EnglishRussia. There you can still see photo of the alleged medical file issued by this prestigious hospital. See the picture for yourself.
http://media.englishrussia.com/russian_tourists/2.jpg
http://englishrussia.com/?p=2771#more-2771
hahahaha ya, America gone wild
SICK !!
Porcupine quills are BARBED, god damn there is not enough anesthesia for that shit
HAHA SERVES EM RIGHT FOR WANTING TO RAPE A FREAKING PORCUPINE WTF!
Nice to see some humorous sex stories on this site once in a while
Haha just how desperate are they??
I salute your bravery! +100 points for Gryffindor!
DAMN RUSSIANS... THEY'RE CRAZY...
so these guys come to Florida from Russia to rape a porcupine. they must have had nothing to do.
Duh...
"Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal."
Already done, f**c...
What i'm to do on my planned vacation now... Boring...
Ooh...
"It is illegal to molest a Key deer. If caught one will be fined or will have to go to jail."
That's sounds like a challenge! A deer is fine too!
I'm glad it messed them up. Having sex with animals is wrong. :<
Unless they start it. Even then it's sort of shady.
Just... lol wtf? XD
No, you don't. Death is one way to achieve it, but the criterion is to make oneself incapable of producing more offspring, thus excising one's genes from the gene pool.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Its nice to know at least some idiots get what they deserve.
~ You know... this is the first time that my eyes rolled back in my head that I actually saw my medulla oblongata!!
Idiots!
These are the kind of people that should be hunted down and killed to ensure they do not ever breed. Along with anyone else who thinks sex with animals is ok, which would sadly be a very large majority of people.
imagine replacing the porcupine with a nuclear launch button or device. We'll be having fallout 3 by now...
Wait a minute wait a minute.
Gang Raped? I missed that detail the first read.
I'm not going to Wiki this, but two guys sharing the dipping jar inside a tiny porcupine?
1) Is this even physically possible
2) What you visualize, cannot be un-visualized
Thanks a lot.
I didn't think about the gang rape or two dicks going into a porcupine until I read your comment.
The poor porcupine....
"2) What you visualize, cannot be un-visualized"
So true. Not to mention I'm going to be wondering how the heck they did it for a good while.
srsly... fuck the what o,0
oooooh. this is a new one.
Russians, in the US.
also: revenge is a dish best served... painfully.
let me elaborate.
huge amount of news of russians doing stupid stuff in russia.
huge amount of news of americans doing stupid stuff in america.
first time (that i've seen on here) where the two have combined powers.
SEX!
LIQUOR!
DRUGS! WOMEN! PETS!
GO STUPID!
By your Powers combined, I am Sergeant Stupid! :D
Sergeant Stupid
He's an idiot.
He's gonna take the Human Race to its Limit.
He's our Dumb selves
Magnified
And his Fighting on
Charles Darwin's side.
Sergeant Stupid
He's an idiot.
He's gonna take the Human Race to its Limit.
No need to help him
Find a mate
He'll stick his penis in Porcupine's Bait.
"You'll pay for this, Ms. Porcupine!"
I'm a Stupideer.
You can be one, too.
'Cause usin' rationale ain't the thing to do.
Doing and then regretting is the way.
Here's what Sergeant Stupid has to say:
"Someone, please, Call an Ambulance!"
duh... XP
Hahaha, Ichiro, I think he IS parodying Captain Planet...
lol...
reminds me of captain planet...
i remember another porcupine sex incident, this one story is made by an american who had sex with a porcupine on his own will and thought it was fun while being laid in a hospital...
how'd they stick it in a porcupine in the first place anyway??