Secretary Bites Off Boss’s Penis in Oral Sex Mishap
- Categories: International, News
- Date: May 5, 2009 20:47 JST
- Tags: Adultery, Bizarre, Business, Cars, Fellatio, Relationships, Singapore
More than just an intimate career advancement session between a secretary and her employer was abruptly cut short when a jolt to their vehicle left her biting off more than she could chew.
The 30-year-old secretary had joined her superior in a car after work at a Singapore park for a romantic liaison.
Unbeknownst to the pair, the woman’s husband was rightly suspicious of his wife, and had the pair tailed by a private investigator, who followed them to the park and there witnessed them in the car together.
Soon after the car began shaking vigorously.
However, their career development session was terminated prematurely when a van backed into their car sharply, and a loud scream from the secretary was heard. Shortly after she exited the vehicle with blood pouring from her mouth.
The private investigator summoned an ambulance, and the man was soon hospitalised. His penis biting secretary later followed with the part she had bitten off.
The investigator commented that it was the first time he had ever seen such a thing.
We do not hear whether reattachment proved possible.
Via Heaven.
It seems there is something of an epidemic of penis biting underway of late…
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Funny, I'm reading The World According to Garp right now, and the exact same thing happens.
Dang you beat me to it
hmmmm penis. What up with all the penis eating. Man i feel sorry for them men. What shocking feeling they must be feeling right now. But if they ever have kids it would be one heck of a story to tell.
Why biting? -_-a
This is one of the MANY reasons to avoid fellatio. Male reproductive organs are for poking, not sucking...
Too much pornos on the brain I guess perhaps?
Sucks to be both of them
Sweet Jesus! Is penis the next BIG Delicacy!? D8
There's a penis restaurant in China!
That is just too hilarious!
Hah if there is ever a proof that God exists, this may be it!
VAGINA DENTATA! VAGINA DENTATA!
That's diplomatic justice for UUUUUUUUUU!
Those biting off cases have been appearing more and more recently...
wtf it's 4th bitten penis in the past month...
i like how it says "We do not hear whether reattachment proved possible."
wonder how the 'promotion' went...
Penis reattachment almost always works. (And necessary more often than you'd expect. The usual causes are jealous spouses and botched circumcisions.) There have been cases of penises that were successfully reattached after being thrown in the loo, and even penis reconstruction is often successful and functional. In this particular case, the woman has bitten of part (I assume the top half or so) and brought it with her to the hospital, so I assume he's doing fine. But still.
Ouch! >.<
...........Well you now you know what not to do when you wanna get promoted.
"Secretary: Whoa!
Boss: What the fuck's happening, woman? Ah, shit man!
Secretary: Oh man, I just bit off your dick...
Boss: Why the fuck did you do that!
Secretary: Well, I didn't mean to do it, it was an accident!
Boss: Oh man I've seen some crazy ass shit in my time...
Secretary: Chill out, man. I told you it was an accident. You probably went over a bump or something.
Boss: Hey, the car didn't hit no motherfucking bump! It's not even movin'!
Secretary: Hey, look man, I didn't mean to bite the son of a bitch. My mouth clamped shut. I don't know why."
I'm certain this is exactly what they said afterwards.
maybe it was one of em zombie prank penises.
glorious hubby
Another manhood lost due to unneeded accident.
god that was painful to read.
Nice jacket babe.
Lmao... so sad.
singapore?! i haven't heard of this. shit i have to check my newspaper.
I'm from singapore, but i've never heard of such news...
Didn't 'Life According to Garp' do this on film with Robin Williams like a decade ago?
Artefact, I don't think there's a penis biting epidemic. I think your just posting a large quantity of news articles that focus on penis mutilation. Not that I object to such articles......
Talk about hardcore...
so many penis getting bit off stories on here lately.
what has become of the world?!?!
and thats my friends is how the cookie crumbles
Did she swallow it?
Nah
"Intimate career advancement session" = office term for *whistles*
one lesson to learn:
"Never do oral in a vehicle"
Correction; "Never do oral in a moving vehicle"
It wasn't moving, a van rammed it while they were parking. I smell conspiracy...
I thought so too
i bet the van was driven by the investigator or the jealous husband.
What a cheap boss, doesn't even have a second apartment for his mistresses. I know a lot of people even in lower income places who can spring to conduct their affairs properly. Really now, creep got what he deserved.
This is why I don't want to hire a Secretary.
I sense a forthcoming new guro trend...
wwwwwwwwww
peneis bitten idol gallery, oh wait, they never have the face nor the item mentioned. (i don't want to see either >.>)
OM NOM NOM NOM
I see what u did there :d tf. lolz.
OUCH
Penises seem to be a growing delicacy.
I see what you did there...
I saw what he did there too...
Whats up with the high number of penis biting post. Soon it may even get a section of its own.
...it is indeed an epidemic.. i hope no one here ever becomes part of it o.O ouch!
An epidemic worse than the swine flu.
penis biting is like swine flu now. lmao
That's never worked when men tried it on me... I just thought it was a tip for good performance. Bite first, money later, you can always mug him afterwards anyways.
^ Shit guys they're catching on to us!
I heard that throwing money to the side also works quite well to distract the unidentified female attacker, just enough time to make a much needed escape.
You mean it's contagious...?
O.o i'd better be careful...
Will do.
oh Good Lord is it.. your walking along then you get attacked by some random woman who then proceds to pull your pants down and Bite.. the only know cures for this atm are have a small lock on your trowsers using a cup gard(football cup) or steel undaware you could also try avoiding larg groups of women as there more prone to attack.. good luck
FUUUUUCK!!
Men are becoming endagered in every way.Soon a female world will exist with a too big difference of to less men being capable of impregnating a women.
That sounds pretty tasty.
Garp.
'nuff said - good movie too ;)
Sausages, goes well with mayo. Mmm mm!
cannibalism!
That sounds pretty nasty, for the guy.
And for the woman. Imagine blowing your boss and then ending up having his penis in your mouth and blood squirting from it.
I bet he didn't even feel anything at first. Shock to his system, etc.
Trust me, watch onemanonejar and you'll be amazed at how silent the guy is through the whole thing...
one word...Excitement
may b they try to imitate the scene in certain AV?!
why not stay in the office
Haha Robocop has no penis or stomach
ah penis... i hear it's best served with a white sauce...
I am more curious why use a car when there must be a zillion hotels?
That part is quite startling indeed. What was the boss doing? Was he so bored that he fell into a coma or something?
Note that it was the woman who screamed.
Omy, caught out!
"The investigator commented that it was the first time he had ever seen such a thing."
i could guess only a hand full of people ever did...
I'd say epic Pwnage
Karma has been witnessed.
This is why Yuri is superior.
Oh my god! Words of wisdom right there!
Yuri FTW. Want oral sex? - go for cunnilingus ;]
Imagine a bite during cunnilingus...
You could you bite your own tongue doing that.
No big deal, women bleed from there all the time anyway.
And you can't yuri if you are a guy.Unless you do a gender change.
poor boss's penis
xD
Goodnight sweet prince
its just me or penis biting is today trend?? 0_0
the WHO must recognize that this penis biting epidemic is much severe than the swine flu...
Man no kidding!
Maybe I should capitalize on all this and start manufacturing chain-linked wang sheaths for the masses...
oh wow......
i just heard this on the radio like 10 mins ago
"...when a van backed into their car sharply" -- driven by the cuckolded husband, perhaps?
Stingy boss should have spent the yen to get a love hotel.
Husband's GOT to be laughing over this one.
Wife loses.
Boss loses worst!
Husband to boss: "Hi, 'Shorty'!"
It happened in Singapore.
We go by Singapore Dollars here. :P
If I'm not wrong it would have only costed them like 15 USD for a two hour stay at some cheap hotels.
You are wrong.
Most China/Thai fuck are available around SGD$90 for 2 hours and you hardly or impossible to find underage girl service in singapore
you have no idea what you're talking about. and you've obviously misunderstood what that guy said.
Makes you wonder whether the van driver is hired by the secretary's husband to sabotage her career advancement session.
BTW, Arte, is that 2D secretary an original fanart or from some eroge/manga?
Up the full size image to the Channel to locate it... Afraid I misplaced the link.
Please forgive me for being too technically illiterate, I've located the link for the full-sized image below.
http://www.sankakucomplex.com/wp-content/gallery/misc-images-xxi/secretary-undressing.jpg
And then what do I do in the channel? Paste the whole link in the search button? I tried using the keywords in the said link above, like "secretary" etc, but to no avail.
Nevermind, I think I've found it, after a bit of lengthy digging. ^^
//park17.wakwak.com/~fomalhaut/nikki/shinyusyain.jpg