Man Trapped by Penis in Wife after Kama Sutra Mishap
- Categories: International, News
- Date: Apr 10, 2009 19:41 JST
- Tags: Bizarre, Kama Sutra, Medical, Penis Abuse, Relationships, Russia
A lady had an orgasm so intense that she vaginally trapped her husband’s penis inside her for over two hours, causing the pair to be hospitalised and nearly costing the husband his manhood.
The couple, Ivan (56) and Valentina (51), had apparently received a copy of the Kama Sutra, the traditional Indian sex manual well known for some challenging positions, as a joke birthday present they say.
Undaunted and doubtless aroused, the pair opted to try out some of the positions detailed in the book; after much joyful experimentation, they reached “Indrani”, a position where the lady lies on her back with her knees brought up to her chest and legs spread, allowing the man read access.
The position proved effective and Valentina soon climaxed intensely, involuntarily contracting the muscles of her vagina vigorously as a result.
So tightly did she contract that Ivan could not so much as withdraw his penis; worse yet, the contraction persisted, and the couple vainly struggled to free themselves for two hours.
It soon became apparent that they were in serious difficulty, and would require medical assistance.
An ambulance soon arrived, and first responders described the terrible scene they were confronted with:
“We couldn’t help laughing looking at them. The two lovers, who were not young at all, were stuck in such a position!”
Doctors soon realised the man could be in danger of a most unfortunate injury:
“We had to hurry because the swelling of the man’s sex organ had begun. We called our best surgeons, but the man somehow escaped!”
It seems the prospect of the tender ministrations of the surgeons persuaded Ivan to get loose. He apparently fled the scene without debilitating injury, and doctors found only a bleeding Valentina.
The surgeons operated on her, and she escaped significant injury, though clearly the pride of both will not soon be recovering.
Via Heaven.
At least his penis was trapped in an appropriate spot…
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This reminds me of an article I read about a man who had his poodle stuck to his penis..
WHICH reminds me of of two gay pastors being stuck together...
very touching...
I don't see what's so gross about older people having sex. I bet we'll still be fucking and fapping at that age ourselves.
But christ, even as a dyke, I'm worried about getting my toys stuck up there now. Must take extra precaution now.
As someone else already has mentioned: Lube! Lube is your friend.
HAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!
MUST GET THE BUCKET OF HOT WATER!!!
Anyone know where that image comes from?
Best story Ive ever read.
I LOLD for hours
thank you Sankaku ^^
Ok, why was SHE bleeding? If he popped out on his own, I can't find a reason for her to be bleeding unless she was on her period. Though at that age I think menopause may have set in.
If he was swelled up more than normal because of prolonged clamp, and she was still clamping down hard, I don't see why it would be a big mystery...
Imagine being sooo constipated that when you go to wipe, you see blood. Isn't it similar to that?
menopause = less natural lube + more fragile tissue.
It's a crazy situation but I'm surprised how many people are talking about how they could be doing that "at that age". That's really not that old and I really wonder how many of you when you get to be that age will really suddenly be saying you don't feel like having sex anymore.
Must be nice...
cant believe old people still has the spark although even with enjoyment they ended in the most ummmm something something of a crisis.
wow
extremely rare condition
what extreme is their age
56 and 51
I've heard of stuff like this happening before. Thank goodness the guy got free.
He could put a finger in her anus to make her release the contraction.It is a medical act.
Hah! Wow, the guy did a bit /too/ well.
Am I seriously the only one to notice the following?
>a position where the lady lies on her back with her knees brought up to her chest and legs spread, allowing the man read access.
So ... does that mean she executed a "chmod o+r vagina" command?
Also, that position sounds very standard to me, judging by the description.
Yes, and when she came, she executed a "chmod o-r vagina" command, which triggered a timed fork bomb. Luckily, he was able to execute a "kill -vagina 18" command just in time.
lol
pffft HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH LOL AHFHAFHOSIHFOASFHOAWGFASDIFIDKFJKDSAJFASHFOUAIFA *falls over* aofhasoiufhasohfasdfaklfjjfkds *dies*
Lolwut?
finally, someone got their dick stuck in a pussy just like how dogs do.
This is a really really really fantastic position. If you ever have the chance, by all means, enjoy it.
50 yrs old vagina has sand on it guys let this be a lesson
He could have lifted her up, they could have rolled around, a lot of people have phones next to their bed and could have reached over, it's not too complicated.
well snopes.com doesn't know yet..and you now they research this shit thoroughly. They don,t mess around with facts. thats why they are trusted.
Anyway:
http://www.snopes.com/risque/penile/captivus.asp
You know what? I'm trying to figure out how they got to the phone...
bow chicka bow wow
This story is Total bullshit, and a anatomic impossibility! Gad.. Some people will believe anything..
Quite simply there was a very easy prevention for all this...
Needs MOAR lube.
Or slightly smaller dick.
More lube is always the answer instead of a smaller dick.
A smaller dick is never the answer.
I want a gallery with images like the one posted.
Also, lol Russia!
P.S.
BAD TRANSLATION! As a RUS>ENG translation professional, I can assure you that the original contained a pun on the usual phrase to describe such persons, 'the young lovers'; the quote from the paramedics was "the (not so) young lovers..."
Had that happen to me in California back in 2003 =) I was 17, in love and thought she was the hottest woman on the planet, she was 16...
Probably should note that I am Russian and she was Ukrainian/Russian, but I read up on it, and it actually happens to everyone, not just us!!!
Generally in fact caused by the lady friend getting freaked out by something a lot or real nervous from thinking about something, while the guy is hella attracted to her and cannot lose his erection...
Oh, and obviously, the sizes have to be a pretty close fit, with her sudden clench and loss of excitement making the vaginal opening smaller than the erect head.
Really nothing you can do in this situation except try to A) get her excited or B) try to get her to calm down.
Managed to tickle, tease, and talk her calm, then actually kept right on going after 40 mins =)))
Ahh, 17 was a sweet age!!!
i remeber same story from my home country..
a couple have sex on mountain that some folks believe is sacred...and suddenly they found dead because same accident similiar with ivan and valentina.
So Ivan consider yourself lucky can go through that accident unharmed...
i think that condition that penis can' go out from vagina is called vaginismus
I'd probably shrink in fear if they were trying to operate on me too. Anyway, this sounds almost like the 'knotting' that happens with dogs, cept initiated by the female in this case so it is reverse, though the swelling seems to occur too afterwards.
lol. Didn't think this was possible.
they remind me to my dog...... -_-
Am trying to count the ways one could get your comment wrong...
for example you and your dog :P
lolz they must be cursing that person who gave them the book as a gift hehehehe
man i need that book <3
The Kama Sutra's been around for hundreds (if not thousands) of years.... it's not going anywhere anytime soon.
Vaginismus
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus
Kama Sutra: the best Dolphin trap known to man!
futher proof that reality is funnier than fiction
So EPIC xD
They wont be having sex soon...
nah. I see them trying the same position in a month tops. Though she might decide to keep scissors next to the bed for some "special" persuasion.
"The surgeons operated on her, and she escaped significant injury, though clearly the pride of both will not soon be recovering."
I don't know, if I made a chick cum so hard her vagina wouldn't let go I'd be bragging my ass off.
Agreed.
Agreed. That gives you a ton of macho points. Not only that I'm sure women from miles around are going to be "visiting" him soon.
You do notice that his 'sex organ' was swelling because of that.... try to brag about that! :)
Love can be painful
it can also be funny XD
Painfully funny
Dayamn! XD
I'll bet the ladies here are taking notes (the guys too).
"Indrani"you say...?
Lol XD
Oh? So stuff like that really happen?
I should stop having sex.
No, no. You and your hand should be fine.
You can keep doing it don't worry. Dutch wives don't contract ther muscles.
If it was inflatable, I'd say that the dutch wife was.
fu fu fu...
Someone got busted.
I could make countless jokes here, but I won't.
No, do it.
+1
Yeah, do it for some epic win and lulz!
Just look at everyone else's responses, you should get the idea.
you know this stuff doesnt make any sense... I mean when a penis loses its erection, it should get (much) smaller and be able to get removed with almost no effort. Same thing with the vagina...
I find it hard to believe this article...
The penis will not loose an erection if enough pressure is applied on the veins - the blood will be locked and unable to return in the blood stream even after ejaculating.
At least he didn't have to stay erected for 12 hours like a certain other Russian guy - imagine if you die from an infarct right after something like this happens to you...
I don't believe you have ever had sex.
LOL!
nonono it more like EPIC LOOOOLL.
Tell me, what do you find funny in this article? At this age they are trying to do this stuff? Maybe... Everybody should know that this can happen. I wonder how would you feel if this happens to you.
Ivan is butthurt.
Butthurt? You mean penishurt.
at this age?? my folks aged 65 still do this stuff... just because your old.. doesn't mean your dead...down there...
manchild?
i've always wanted that to happen, could you imagine how tight that twat must be, licks lips*
-the beast
it would be fucking funny and embarrassing
I would think... thank you gods I can still get it up!!! Duh. And be proud I actually got her off without a need of a fake climax on her part.
i think its very daring of them to do these at this certain age, especially when the word "kama sutra" popped out, either ways, i think their just very adventurous and i give my kudos to them.
don't be such a killjoy
OHAI Ivan!
boner mode = EPIC, rofl.
Boner mode! XDDD
yeah.. sounds painful..
but this article was funny as hell! XDD
After orgasm for the male, the member should return to it's regular size and become flaccid again. When it's "stuck", the veins are constricted which means the blood is not let back into the body away from the penis. This is also bad because while veins to not have much to pump blood through them (blood simply oozes in veins) and the arterioles in the penis are able to continue pushing blood into the penis.
TL;DR Version: His body was not in boner mode, but the contraction forced a ballooning boner and wouldn't let the blood out.
If we ignore the penis going flaccid, why on earth wouldn't the woman's muscles relax? If anything, wouldn't you run out of energy?
I think she may have been one of those women doing kegal exercises for fitness.
What I think she should have done was contract as hard as possible to try and exhaust the muscles so they will relax. Brief discomfort but better in the long run.
yeah... everytime i think of someone having sexual misadventures from now on i'll always think of ivan... of note though, paramedics realised his penis was swelling? is this not a normal function of sex? and also, how did they notice if he was stuck inside of her???
The older they are the more "experience" they received.
y soo srs =[
This is why we stick to 2d girls, right? Nah, we just can't get any around here.
Pretty sure this is anything but common. Also this is the internet so if trolling offends, GTFO.
It's not really common, but does happen often enough. Usually it just manages to stay out of the news.
But it didn't happen to me. So... LOL!