Nurses Provide Manual Stimulation at Shanghai Sperm Bank
- Categories: International, News
- Date: Mar 31, 2009 14:51 JST
- Tags: Bizarre, China, Marketing, Medical, Onanism, Shanghai, Sperm Bank
Reportedly, the Shanghai Sperm Bank is offering white coated young ladies to assist able bodied men in the donation of their sperm.
According to the report, donors are required to be in prime health and must volunteer to abstain from sex or self gratification for four days prior to the visit. Once there, a young lady will assist carefully collecting the sperm up to three times per visit.
Payment is said to be approximately $30 for each session, and donations can be given up to five times a month.
While such meticulous attention to customer service seems exemplary in China, it is by no means an isolated example.
Via Slamxhype.
Sadly for aspiring donors, this does indeed appear to be a spot of mischief on the part of Chinese forum-goers.
Investigation reveals the dream shattering revelation that the images come from a Japanese AV and that the facility in question explicitly denied the report, pointing out that donations are conducted in individual stalls (with no assistance) to preserve donor privacy, and so condemning thousands of men to despair.
Just what technique is used for semen extraction is not made clear; likely it involves the traditional gravure magazines.
In related news, it appears the sperm bank had to stop conducting artificial inseminations during 2008 due a shortage of sperm; perhaps they should have taken note…
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OMFG!!! Where my plane ticket?! AND where do I sign up?!
絶望した! This world of internet pranks and false advertisement has left me in despair!
no way not in a million year. i would so not go there.
I doubt that it's a JAV, because the nurses look like Chineses.
no way... porn is forbiden in china lol
Well, I'm *sure* some enterprising Chinese advertising executive labels it under 'Family Planning Research' to get by the censors. XD
WTF? How'd you know?!
I wish I had the power to assume someone's non-ethnic nationatlity.
tick-tock.tick-tock.
SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
WTF? How'd you know?!
I wish I had the power to assume someone's non-ethnic nationatlity.
I think these misrepresentations of China should really be taken down...seriously has any of you been to China? You do realise media controls how people react towards different cultures and its the core of where stereotypes and misrepresentations originate from. I'm caucasian and I see serious flaw in this. At least have some brains to think even while reading than jumping to conclusions. It's really messed up and that's how these hate crimes come about. Really, do some research.
This site is all about making fun of Asian people. If you don't like it, gtfo.
shows how educated you are. Too bad no asian will go for you.
So... You're caucasian, and you "have some brains to think even while reading than jumping to conclusions", but you assume that nobody else does? Get off your high horse.
And THAT, dear eaders is what's called a 'Catch-and-Release'! XD
China trolled us really fucking good there. Dear God, I nearly spewed hot coffee on the monitor reading through the whole article.
Ladies, how would you like that job?
PS, I'm hiring.
LOL
i already have "Handjob Airlines"
LOL that's interesting!
China's new tourist attraction.
I don't think any of these morons read the entire article. It's a hoax, you sad little douches.
WTF? ChiCom (communist China) has an odious "one-child" policy to reduce its population...AND it runs a sperm bank in increas the number of kids???
Oh. I sincerely hope you're joking. You seem to be intelligent enough to have read the whole article.
It seems that some guys did not realize that this was only an April Fool's report. The pics were snapped from a JAV.
"donations are conducted in individual stalls (with no assistance) to preserve donor privacy..."
>>If it is just a question of privacy, why don't just make a hole in the wall, and have a nurse behind that wall to manually stimulate the patient???
But then, for all you know it could be a male nurse on the other side of the wall... :/
Yea, bout that ... They should make 2 tiny holes 4 your eyes to peek through and see the whole situation on the other side ...
before read the whole article，I was laughing for author. It's a quite old fake news.
After read the whole comments, I'm laughing even more. There are so many of u- "God's son" show there is nothing but trash in their mind.
Hate China? Hate ur mami and dady first.
The quoted price is a potential 1000 RMB a month, that's equal or greater than the monthly salary of 2/3 of the people here. People would be lined up for months just trying to get in for a couple hundred kuai with no real work, LOL
Chinese copied Japanese as always.
This attracted many interest from white people.
Reading comprehension must be a rare skill these days. Or are you guys just joking? :|
I laughing of these idiots who just see the images and read the title but forget to read the rest of the article :D
apparently you couldn't tell between jest and seriousness :D
hmmm can't spell can ya?
O RLY?! Shanghai, here Anon come!
Of course it's fake, since the 'nurses' were too hotties! If it's real deal there would be some old hags doing the job! DO NO WANT!
this is of course the truth
Goddammit this would have been so awesome. D:
The girls are wearing gloves as they do it, except for that last picture. Not to mention, each patient is right next to each other.
Still, that'd be pretty nice.
It's not April Fool's yet, or is it?
There won't be any here.
Except for news regarding Haruhi season 2.
I LOLed.
April fools!
Well, it'd help keep their economy rolling when their GDP drops below that magical 6% growth or somesuch...
Why not oral stimulation too? Only manual must be boring
You sir are a virgin!
Saliva would affect the quality of the sample.
lol...
"Investigation reveals the dream shattering revelation that the images come from a Japanese AV and that the facility in question explicitly denied the report, pointing out that donations are conducted in individual stalls (with no assistance) to preserve donor privacy, and so condemning thousands of men to despair."
You wonder if people are intentionally ignoring that paragraph just to let their imaginations go wild...
Surprisingly, there's still no one who has supplied links to buy ( http://www.amazon.co.jp/gp/product/B000NQRD2E?ie=UTF8&redirect=true [http://www.amazon.co.jp/gp/product/B000NQRD2E?ie=UTF8&redirect=true] ) or download ( http://lovemovies2.dtiblog.com/blog-entry-7332.html ) this...
Just wait for the follow-up...
The follow-up's called a Happy Ending, Artefact. XD
Follow-up is a case of a raping...most likely. I wouldn't put it pass any country that offered free handjobs at a sperm bank...
If U.S. wasn't full of "pigbeasts," then perhaps we would be able to enjoy something similar, but alas we fail in the fitness section.
.....Damn....
The happy ending is that the next one is real... Have to wait past the 1st though.
i know im ignoring it :( get a handjob and leave with money in ur hands who wouldnt love that!
hahaha,.,. this is interesting.,.
don't just use the hands, give me the boobs !!!
Not bad. Go in, get a hand job, and leave with £21. Repeat 5 times a month. XD
That's awesome. Sometimes I hate China, sometimes I love it.
I AGREE man holy crap sign me up if that was the case, like no where else could get away with it be awesome twist to sperm banks haha
no no, it's not from China.
China chick don't dare to do that.
yes it is from chine, because a see small dicks loooooooooooool
Muahahaha now u hit 'em in the gutt ... lol ...
All asians have small dicks ...
But this is the Shanghai Sperm Bank, which, last I check, is in Shanghai, which is in China.
Fuck that articles... Too long to read - if you don't speak the english properly, heh. I also tought it was from china, until I've read the posts.
RTFA
Goes to show no one actually reads the articles.
and if you read the whole article you'd realise its from a JAV
Goes to show how many people applied and took out sub-prime loans without reading the fine print and realizing they have to pay it back!
Goes to show how many people fapped without thinking to a picture of a cute girl, only to learn it was a trap!
Say what ? God, they must be happy with it.
4 days?!? Thats really hard...
even on masturbating terms... i mean I masturbate at least once a day
Wow.. Just handjob?
Wow you get a hand job and you get paid too? damn whatta deal! :D
OMFG!! Now I wanna go to China to for a FREE handjob and to get paid.
Ahaha, unfortunately... it's just a joke
eww
where does those sperm go?
So.... where download that JAV?
Whoops! Unintentional bukkake imminent! KA-SPLOOEY!
is there a donation here in california? haha
EEEE, real asian women - the dream of every 2D addict fellow.
HAHAHAHHAHAHA XD
OMG!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
How are they going through so much sperm? Are they producing that many babies? Or are they using donor eggs too to make stem cells? Maybe some ladies (or guys) are making withdrawals for other uses...
Oh you. Still thinking it's being used for baby-making.
speaking of donationz... how fast do you "pyu pyu"?
I heard some people doesn't like letting it go early, and some want it asap. so I'm confused...
when you do health care with your dolphin, how fast does your dolphin puke? less than 3 mins?
Don't use these childish euphemisms. They only diminish your credibility as an onanist.
I've taken the liberty of forwarding all questions regarding dolphin puke to Sea World for consideration.
oh you...
Does it come with a happy ending?
Yes it does, after every donation you get one free egg roll to help recharge :3
Too bad its not real. It'd be cool to get paid and release.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
As someone said, sometimes we hate China
and sometimes we love it.
haha good shit.
yey to china sperm bank