“My Wife Was a Porn Star, What Should I Do?”

“My Wife Was a Porn Star, What Should I Do?”

The case in question is that of a man, happily married for three years, who discovers his wife to have secretly had a previous career of performing in adult videos, that is to say, she is a porn star. What should he do?

We find this pitiable plea asked of Yahoo’s Chiebukuro (Ask Yahoo!), and it has been gaining much attention.

According to his plea, he had no inkling of his wife’s colourful past until he noticed her in an adult DVD his friend had… What a surprise that must have been.

“There are children (it was a shotgun marriage), and I think I can pretend I don’t know. I wasn’t really sure it was her, but there is a mole that checks out, you see. I think I should check the identity out, but I’m scared to do so. Do you think I should try asking her friends?”

The selected answer, by kirakira7727kirakira:

“To a greater or lesser extent, there is nobody who doesn’t have this kind of fault or indiscretion in their past. I think the most important thing is how we use that past experience in how we live our lives from here on.”

“If you really must check, then it would absolutely be best to ask her directly. Asking her friends, why it’s almost as though you don’t trust her.”

“But, if you really do love your wife, I think if you kept quiet about the fact you knew, in spite of knowing, that would make you a very manly, splendid husband to her.”

Incidentally, this answer is provided by a lady, though I think you might’ve guessed.

Some more of these delightful answers proffered by yahoos:

“Is she not no different to an amateur with a great experience of men?”

“If the children knew it would a great shock. Can’t you please keep it to yourself, for their sakes?”

“If you can’t forgive her, at least leave her without telling her the reason why”.

Whilst the answers given out on Yahoo might be trite and sanguine, 2ch provides a much less merciful, and also highly amusing, set of responses to the question:

“When your kids are grown up, watch it with them. Tell ‘em: ‘Look, ain’t mom pretty’”.

“If she did any scat, she’s out”.

“Reading the selected answer just makes me want to puke”.

“Unforgivable, absolutely unforgivable”.

“Usually you divorce. Seriously”.

“That’s all the more hot!”

“If it’s true then she’s just second hand goods”.

“How the hell can he trust her now, just split up already!”

“What’s wrong with her, thinking she can just marry as if nothing happened…”

“If she just kept quiet about it and married him then she’s the worst kind of woman, eh?”

“Well, I might be able to let a spot of delivery health pass, but AV is a bit much. It’s on the net after all…”

“What a little man. Who cares about her past…”

“Anyway, tell us the name of the damn video already!”

“My girlfriend performs in eroge, but I don’t say anything and I love her”.

“If there weren’t any kids it’d be an insta-divorce”.

“Why on earth did such a pompous and high and mighty answer get selected as best…”

“Are they really your kids?”

“This guy’s definitely being cheated on, eh?”

“If it was a shotgun marriage just to cover up for getting her pregnant, then he’s reaping what he’s sown.”

“With so many upright women in the world, the first thing he should do is get rid of this wretched one”.

“Husband: You’ve been in an AV then?

Wife: Eh? What are you talking about?

Husband: Here, look at this.

Wife: … Wow, look at that, amazing, she looks just like me”.

Husband: And this mole is?

Wife: … What? There’s a problem with having been in an AV? I don’t get you at all!”

“2D is the best after all”.

“I’m interested in what the reaction would be if she were to come in on you whilst you were masturbating to the DVD…”

“First, get the DVD signed”.

Finally:

“If this were an ero-manga she’d be chasing after her son’s friends for sex…”

I think you get the picture from this selection of the many thousands of comments.

It is certainly a complicated issue, but absolving the porn star of all responsibility for concealing her scandalous past, and pretending there are no practical or personal consequences to such conduct, as the Yahoo answer rather one-sidedly proposes, is probably laying it on rather thick; but I’m sure we’d all each respond rather differently to this?


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    Avatar of thanto_
    Comment by thanto_
    18:41 15/05/2009 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I would hold onto the DVD, then when your kids grow up, give it to your sons as a present for becoming adults. Wait some time to ensure they've watched it. Then and only then inform them that their mother was a porn star once...

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:04 20/05/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    They'd have the best mom evar or be scarred for life.

    Comment by blue_blue
    15:02 13/04/2009 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    "I think I should check the identity out, but I’m scared to do so."

    Does this guy even have a ball?

    Avatar of Zanosuke_Kurosaki
    Comment by SorataYuy
    11:54 06/01/2009 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    What cracks me up is the way some of the 2channers are acting like he should just dump his wife of three years, without considering that he's got himself a companion that he gets to have sex with. 'Cause, y'know, I'm sure those 2channers out there get sex on a regular basis... XD [/amused sarcasm]

    Comment by anonymous
    09:44 05/05/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    If he loves her then he should just forgive her. Then again, she is a porn star trying to be a human and thus she should be gangraped, tarred, feathered, hung, and sent to hell, right? RIGHT?

    Comment by Pocketkiriyama
    22:00 14/05/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    If I married an ex-AV star without knowing I'd be shocked too but the fact that I married her means I love her so her past doesn't concern me as much. Also thinking from her side I bet she was just as concern in telling him about her past too. No one wants the one they love to hate them......stars from the AV business isn't very forgiven when it comes to the norms.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:31 15/05/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    if it is true that she was indeed a porn star, would it not stand to rights that she had gone into a marriage without telling him knowing that it could arise in the future, he basically married a person he believed to be of a regular background. if it were me, i would be deverstated and not be able to trust them thus it is a poor marriage and he should find a woman who is honest.for me the issue isn't she was a porn star rather a lier.

    Comment by kuromitsu
    19:31 12/08/2008 # ! Neutral (0)

    Just when I was starting to warm up to 2ch, here's a reminder why I hated it in the first place. (Though okay, I lol'd at "get the DVD signed.") By the way, the Yahoo answer is mostly sensible (though going too far with the "pretend nothing had happened" advice). If I were the guy I'd definitely talked it over with her.

    Comment by Zig
    21:52 11/04/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    In cases like this you usually do your wife

    Avatar of Fyl
    Comment by Adieu
    23:31 21/03/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    2words: SHOTGUN RAMPAGE

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:55 10/04/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    A.) Divorce.
    B.) Get over it.
    C.) Kill yourself.
    D.) Genuflect.

    Comment by Setsuken
    19:19 12/08/2008 # ! Neutral (0)

    Wow O_o... Not to be insensitive or anything, but didn't an English movie called: "The Girl Next Door" have a similar issue in it's theme? Except the gf was the porn star.

    If he loves his wife, he should talk it out with her and discuss what to do about this with her. I mean, whatever mistakes one's done in the past, does NOT change who they are at the moment yeah?

    Comment by zygzaq
    00:53 28/07/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I agree about the past thing but still to keep it secret? It would be fine if she told him...

    Comment by Hair Monger
    13:47 12/01/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Ha ha. i love that film. just the look on her face when they finally fuck for the first time in the limo is priceless, also very fake. Anyways, he should just get over it, buy a damn video camera and make his own home porn with her. I mean, think about it for a second, he's married to a very open minded woman here, and he's bitching about her having a sordid past? what is he doing watching porn with his friend anyway when he has a wife at home?

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:02 25/03/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    "My wife was a porn star, what should I do?"

    Get weird during sex. It'll make her feel more comfortable.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:22 10/04/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Have sex with her.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:23 03/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I recently found out my boyfriend used to be a porn star- It does bother me a little but everyone has a past they regret but its not like he was a prostitute, there were only a few movies and not really that bad either,but at least he told me when things started to get serious so I could decide if I would enter a committed relationship with him.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:12 20/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    live your life for you,do what make you happy,if you guys happy together it is nobody's bussines,we are in 21 century no ones wife is a virgin there all had boyfriends before we get together most did things we will never know, and what about us men we did so many crazy things with other women which is some ones wife today, who cares live your life for you, love is more important than other peoples life.
    good luck

    Comment by Bert
    01:33 26/05/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    So typical of a Japanese.

    "I don't know how to confront this person"

    I love Japanese culture, but when it comes to communication they really need to grow some balls. A western guy would know how to deal with this.

    Comment by OigoMiEggo
    18:04 20/03/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    you know...i'm surprised i didn't see anyone ask him if he checked to make sure his actual sex with her isn't her faking it o.o

    Avatar of Shimazaki
    Comment by shimazaki
    01:07 14/08/2008 # ! Neutral (0)

    Fuck, that next train man issue sure makes me laught, but is probably true due to the famous urban legnend created around that story.

    Surely many jap women has participated on at least one JAV to have money, for her things, so, the chance to find a pure woman in japan remains minimun at this moment.

    This husband, maybe must try to talk with her, and maybe she could futfill his fantasies, as she is an expert in "that" theme. but they have to keep in secret to the children, or else, they will have a hellish life cince japanese ar so double moral, and critizise everything.

    Avatar of Shimazaki
    Comment by shimazaki
    01:08 14/08/2008 # ! Neutral (0)

    sorry for my english, but i'm still lerningh though.

    Comment by Watanabe
    05:52 13/08/2008 # ! Neutral (0)

    OMFG, wouldn't be great to have sex with a AV star?

    I would say just buy all her dvd's if not all her vhs's and when your kids are a sleep, place it all over in the living room.

    Comment by Pyoro
    03:45 13/08/2008 # ! Neutral (0)

    well ya have to give it to them for coming up with those snide comments.
    at least the guy was brave enough to post this question. i am sure, given japan's burgeoning porn industry, he's definitely not the only guy. if the advices given didn't help him, it would surely have been of some help to others in the same predicament. although honestly, i would have checked up on her before marrying her...

    Comment by FAIL
    22:27 12/08/2008 # ! Neutral (0)

    Uh, WOW. The internets (and sankaku complex) never ceases to make me LOL (with serious intent, though) everyday. How can you not notice something that obvious, unless she "was" one before the wedding? "Get the DVD signed" will now be my quote. But still, if they "still" love each other, then talk it over. If she is "still" property of the internets, then dump her. In b4 using 2ch as a source of "Emotional Comfort"

    Comment by Toshiaki
    22:42 12/08/2008 # ! Neutral (0)

    Reminds me of Chasing Amy. Who gives a shit what she did in the past if you love her now? Talk with her like an adult and get over it. Or masturbate to 2Ch the rest of your life.

    I bet the question is complete BS anyway. No proof is offered. Probably someone trying to generate the next Train Man.

    Comment by Pyrus
    12:49 14/08/2008 # ! Neutral (0)

    Unless she's still doing it behind his back, what's the problem? He's married to an idol of millions of horny/lonely men. He should be bragging: "Ha, Ha!! I'm bangin' a woman you losers can only rub yourself to!!!!" or "She did you in a sex vid for pay, but I'm gettin' it for free!!! Top that!!!"

    Comment by Key Chi Guy
    15:31 14/08/2008 # ! Neutral (0)

    LOL at the expected snarky sarcasm filled 2ch replies.

    > OMFG, wouldn’t be great to have sex with a AV star?

    Not really. I experienced this once. I had nothing to do one evening and the brains in my other head decided to take charge (I hate when Mr. Penis spends my cash with wreckless abandon). The result was a delivery health reservation. Well the girl I picked turned out to be this 3rd tier JAV actress (not surprising as a number of lesser known JAV actresses work in higher end dera-heath, esutes, soaps, etc to make extra cash but that is another long story).

    I recognized her as soon as I opened the door but just feigned ignorance. During our chat, I learned she did kickboxing and martial arts on the side and could have kicked my ass from Tokyo to China so I decided not to say anything. Aside from being visual eye candy and easy to talk to, everything else was too businesslike. And it was really fucking annoying when she began doing the fake moans and shit that I almost went limp. Unlike JAV videos, there is no fucking volume control or mute button that you can press. The DH escorts who are regular girls and not as hot lookers just doing it for extra cash on the otherhand offered way better GFE service.

    Avatar of Artefact
    Comment by Artefact

    Interesting story.

    Although it may offend the tender sensibilities of some more devoted idol fans, it seems pretty obvious that the whole business is just a continuum of prostitution stretching from idol to street walker. Harsh but true?

    And the rediculous behaviour one can see in AVs (and not just JAVs) is one of the many reasons I give them a wide berth...

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:26 23/12/2008 # ! Neutral (0)

    Find the right moment, then ask her directly. If the answer is yes.... How much do you love your wife? Imagine what you can discover with her esp. if your not getting the royal treatment when it comes to bed!
    Well if it's not her then this is the best time to explore new things and spice up your alone time!

    Comment by Foton
    14:54 30/11/2008 # ! Neutral (0)

    2ch giving response is like /b/ giving response for your problems: very informative.

    I like the Yahoo! answer, though some of the 2ch responses are quite amusing...

    Comment by birds
    00:51 20/10/2008 # ! Neutral (0)

    OMG, i wished i had minori aoi as my wife

    Avatar of Necromas
    Comment by Necromas
    00:31 18/10/2008 # ! Neutral (0)

    I don't really feel very qualified to comment on this since I don't know the norms of Japanese culture relating to this sort of thing, but here's my opinion...

    -Try to verify if it was really her, but DO NOT go behind her back and talk to her friends about it or anything like that.

    -Confront her (and only her) in private about it, when both of you are calm and not in a bad mood. She'll probably be very shameful about it and it's important to hear her out and comfort her.

    -Try as much as possible to avoid letting the kids and friends know.

    -If it still comes to divorce and you just can't let it go, I don't really know what to say, it all depends on things like what situation would the kids be put in, and your own morales.

    Comment by kay
    20:45 12/08/2008 # ! Neutral (0)

    That yahoo answer probably came from the wife herself.




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